Monday, September 12, 2005

Losing Patience

I was reminded today that I am still disillusioned by the ego. I felt I was being talked down-to by a store clerk. I visibly lost my patience. I wasn't rude, but still, I was a little vocal. No harsh words or anything, I just repeated what I was saying three or four times, and by the third or fourth time I was definitely accentuating a bit. I felt my temper swell-up from deep within. I wasn't really aware of it until after the effect, either. But the instant after, I felt guilty. I need to remember a page from Meher Baba's _Life At Its Best_:

"Keep your mind quiet, steady and firm. Do not submit to desires, but try to control them. One who cannot restrain his tongue cannot restrain his mind; one who cannot restrain his mind cannot restrain his action; one who cannot restrain his actions cannot restrain himself; and one who cannot restrain himself cannot attain his real Infinite Self."

I'm not usually a terribly angry person, but it's still good to keep this in mind, especially when driving on the road and someone cuts me off and I'm tempted to show my displeasure.

Be steady. Stay calm.


Mark Walter said...

Stacey, the last four words of the post are wonderful. Just reading them made me calmer.

Sophia said...

Hi Mark,

Good to hear from you tonight.

I can't imagine you any calmer than you already appear to be. You seem to be a man of great patience. :)

Mark Walter said...

Same here, Stacey. I just got a nice comment from you on my site. Thanks. Nice to hear from you too. You know, one time a wise old teacher I know said something like, "You learn patience because you've been a patient for so long." :-)

whoknows said...

I think patience comes very naturally when we have the understanding (maybe even the realization) that we are not 'separate'.

Who was affected or 'injured' by your temper, you or the store clerk?

Isn't it our idea that we are separate that creates our egos?

Sophia said...

Hi Whoknows,

I don't know who's more injured. I'm afraid I don't have the courage to go back and ask her if my temper bothered her any. :)

Speaking of this episode.... I just found out today that the whole episode was my fault. It was an argument over whether I had received a receipt or not. I swore up and down I had not received one. Well, today I found the receipt. I feel doubly guilty, now.

But, back to your question. Who's injured more? Well, I might have embarrassed her, which can be injuring. And I most certainly injured myself which is evident in the guilt and embarrassment that I feel.

I do think that it is our idea of separateness that creates our egos. It's easy to say that, though. My question is, how can we finally experience non-separateness so that our egos don't get in the way?