This is the first post in a blog that I intend to use as a journal of my spiritual journey. I'm not talking about religion, just spirituality. I also hope to meet others through this blog.
For about eight months now I've been - and I hate to use this word - struggling to find something to fill the empty space I've been feeling within myself. I've been looking for spirituality. I've skimmed web pages of everything from Buddhism to Astral Projection to Tarot Cards and beyond. I've also looked into Shamanism.
Since December of 2001 I've felt a particular "Oneness" with everything and everyone, but I've been looking for a way to experience enlightenment. I've been trying small doses of meditation, even. Most nights, I play soothing New Age music to put me to sleep while I let my mind wander off into nothingness. (Sometimes I admit I try to reach the so-called "astral plane". But I can't say I've had any success yet.)
I have a strong fascination with dreams. For a few years now I've kept a dream journal. Sometimes I try to interpret their meanings, and other times I simply let them be. I've gone lucid a few times, even once I thought I had an out-of-body experience, but I'm not completely certain.
My main goal right now is to find a spiritual teacher, guru, master, mentor or just someone who can help me feel around. I really hope that I can be blessed with such a person. I've been looking high and low, but haven't found who or what I'm looking for yet. I don't know if I should go looking for them, or if in time they will find me. I just hope that someday that time will come.