This blog is a journal of my search for the Truth. I long to be enlightened. On my journey I seek a Spiritual Teacher who can help me find my way. They say that,"When the student is ready, the master appears."
Tree VerseLooking at the green treeOut of the office windowWhere I work and striveGradually become aliveAs the rivals wind and sunPlay and make funOf its gentle branchesFull of soft leavesIn all natural shadesOf green and yellowI let myself goOnly to appear againWith a bold ballpenIn my inspired handTo write in oblivion This shameless poemI am in love.
Castor,That is so beautiful and sweet. You must have been inspired by a tree. They have a way of doing that, don't they. :)
Seeing my step daughter, Jen. Playing my violin (for those of you who have read some of my posts, yes, I have started to practice the darned thing). Hiking at the Hombu. Talking to Mark. Watching my husband's face light up. Hearing my sister's voice over the telephone. Listening to summer.
Gretchen,Funny - talking to Mark makes me happy, too. :)
Stacey,I added the last line just to make it more interesting and passionate. Well, maybe I am!With Life. And...just keep it a secret.
Castor,Why would you want to keep it a secret that you're in love with life? I'd say there's nothing wrong with that!
Finding those kindred spirits that are intersested in the same paths as I am makes me happy. However, I have been reading some interesting Ageless Wisdom. Some of the wise would say that happinesss is an illusion placed in conventional reality. Joy- now joy is an expression of the Soul. Then there is Bliss which comes from a vast alignement of being
No matter what others are doing, you are the only one who is responsible forwhat happens to you. There is nothing in the external event that in the leastway determines your feelings and experiences: your life is entirely governedby your vibrations, what they tell you and how you respond.
Fresh hot soapy clean dishwater, especially when my hands are cold.
Gretchen,You have almost written a very nice poem. It made me happy.
Happiness can be(and usually is) an illusion. It depends on perspective. If you are seeking it or remembering it, then it is an illusion. If you are experiencing it right now then it is real.
George,And especially after several days in the woods.
So many, often trivial small things, Stacey. Most things.But if you asked me what happiness is, I would probably have to write a book.
H~,It is so nice to see you here! I see you've found my comment on your blog. Yes, it's wonderful to have met yet another kindred spirit on the path. In the entire blogosphere it would appear that there are not many of us, but quality is more important than quantity!I can see where you're coming from regarding happiness. In that case, here's to experiencing true Joy and Bliss!
Anonymous,Indeed we are all responsible for our own happiness. I find that in times when I'm not feeling happy, that it's best to go looking for happiness! Sometimes, something as simple as smiling can change these vibrations that you speak of.
George,You're more than welcome to come do my dishes for me, then. :)
Beard,Sometimes it is necessary, I think, to seek happiness just to get out of a rut, even though seeking it might be - as you say - an illusion.
Hi Change,Now that I think about it, many of the things that make me happy can be viewed as trivial things. But all those trivial things add up to one great big happiness!Maybe you have an idea there - maybe you should write a book on happiness. I'd read it. :)I'm glad to see you've stopped by again. You disappear often. :( I'm still waiting to read a post on the Mayans on your blog. *hint hint* :)
It could be as you say Stacey. It is my nature to be stoic."All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."
"Happiness is a wine of the rarest vintage, and seems insipid to a vulgar taste." Logan Pearsall Smith
Nothing. But there's a long list of things that make me feel content, Stacey.
I don't know. I've come back to this post three times. I can't think of any one thing so I guess I have to say -- just being alive.
Happiness is not being self-conscious. Whether one is being saintly or not. It's being funny and being able to laugh at oneself.It's making a mistake and forgetting about it easily.It's not being afraid of making a mistake.Of saying stupid things without meaning it.And trusting to be forgiven for being stupid.It's being worldly without harming oneself and others.It's being myself and not being afraid.It's not having to conform and to perfom.It's not feeling guilty about yesterday.It's not being worried about tomorrow, of not gaining anything, of not having everything, of not becomingfamous, even of losing everything.It's being free from fear, guilt, and sorrow.And not being afraid of being afraid.It's being a scatterbrain, and excusing oneself.It's being given space to sayanything.It's trusting oneself.And hoping all of these is true for everyone.
Well, it's really Olivia singing.Especially "Magic" to me."You have to believe we are magicNothin' can stand in our wayYou have to believe we are magicDon't let your aim ever strayAnd if all your hopes surviveYour destiny will arriveI'll bring all your dreams aliveFor you"
Stacey deletes every comment I make, because she hates me.Anywho, for me the true path to happiness is being busy. Arbeit macht frei.
Why do you ask?:)
Rob, you are the master of quotes. :) First, your "Slices of Bacon", now L.P. Smith.
Utenzi,OK, so what makes you the most content? And why doesn't anything make you happy?
I_Wonder,I think that's one of the best answers you could've chosen. That wasn't that hard! :) You know something? I kinda like being alive, too. Believe it or not, there was about six months of my life when I didn't, but I've grown out of that.
Pollux, my friend, that's brilliant! You've composed a nice list of things that happiness is or isn't. Thanks for the post. I can tell it came from your sincere heart.
Hi Anonymous,Music has a way of making me happy, too. I like ONJ, also, especially in "Grease".The lyrics you posted seem to have deep meaning, though. I like that.
Zarathustra,I don't "hate" you. I only delete your comments because sometimes they are a bit nasty. You are more than welcome to comment here as long as you keep it clean and friendly. That's the atmosphere I want this webpage to continue to have.
Zarathustra,Work has once freed me from slavery of the mind, so believe it or not I actually agree with you on something.I think when we are not busy, we are left to our thoughts. Sometimes I think the point of life is to not think so much.
Blow'n in the Wind,You ask a good question. :) The answer I can give you is probably the same answer I'd give you to why I ask all my other questions.At the risk of oversimplifying things, I guess it all boils down to the fact that I like you guys. I just want to get to know you. :) I like the community of bloggers that I've met and getting to know all of you and learn from all of you has been a wonderful experience for me.I guess this is a partial answer to my own question. What makes me happy? Knowing I've made some good friends through the use of a blog. That's definitely one of the things that make me happy. :)
Knowing that you care enough to read my journal.Thank you for your kindness Stacey.
That's sweet, Romy. It means a lot to me. Thanks to you, too.
So why did you ask the question? ? ((((((((( ))))(*`* ((( )))) (~ (( ))))) ) \))))
Blow'n,Well, because I'm nosy, I guess.I want to know! So... what's your answer?
I've noticed that the things that I thought made me happy don't really, if you mean by 'happy' a feeling of contentment that lasts.I've noticed that anything can bring me joy when I am at peace, but it all depends on my state of being, not something external.I've noticed that when people are being 'positive' and 'happy' when it's not their truth, it's actually uncomfortable and disturbing to be near.So, 'happy', that's a tricky term.To be able to be with what IS, when it's sincere, THAT is very incredible.
Blow'n,Material things don't ever seem to bring me lasting happiness. I'll want something - I'll want it really bad - then I get it. After I have it I start wanting something else. There is always that need to get more and more and when it comes to happiness through material objects, I just don't believe in it.Then you have the car salesman who is being happy and positive when it's not their "truth", like you've stated. They just want to sell you a car. You're right - they can make me uncomfortable too.But true sincere people - friends - are a completely different story. They can light up the world.
:) oh, that's why you asked :)
Blow'n,Huh? *scratching head*Ok, so I like to talk. :) By now I'm sure you've noticed.Talking makes me happy. And I can't start a conversation without asking a question, can I? If I want to get to know you, I should ask you a question, right?Name one thing you've been with that is true and sincere and has made you happy.
OK, here's one for you:"Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment."-Lao Tzu
A new born baby, young children in general. But I can't say that it was they who 'made' me happy, more that, in their presence, their honest unselfconscious way of being, it was easier to be in touch with that within myself.( Oh, I wasn't trying to suggest that you like to talk, only that this was a question that YOU wanted to address. So I'm pleased I asked...)
I'm pleased you asked, too. Honestly, I'm full of questions. I've only showed you the tip of the iceburg. :)Children are so full of innocence. I think that for me, being around them brings me back to a time when life was much simpler. I could simply "be" without having to question anything. I didn't have a need to know why I was here or why I had to die.I think just talking to you now, I've come-up with yet another question I'll post soon.
Which leads me to ask...Who is the 'you' that you say will die?
Blow'n,I'm hoping that it is just my body that will die. But for months what I've been doing is looking for proof that there is a soul that continues onward.I know, I'm attached to my ego. It's one of my problems. I don't want to let go. (These are late night confessions, by the way.)
Regarding your questions Stacey, it boils down to essential nature. We all have one and it's very hard to change it. It's best to acknowledge what type of personality you have and work within those boundries. I am not a type that is happy, but I can maintain peace and contentment. If I try to be "happy" I'll be tilting at windmills and the pursuit will be futile.This might be something for you to keep in mind on your quest. Always keep in mind the constraints within you as you try to expand your awareness.
When people post comments on my blog or (better still) download my free demos and listen to them. They don't have to necessarily like them!And regarding what you said on my blog about Art: I used to tell my students "You don't choose art, it chooses you". So if you really did once walk hand in hand then its not gone away. It'll still be there when the time is right.
Stacey, Concerning your comment about "soul", you might find this interesting: a poem by Mary Oliver.
Hi Utenzi,But part of this process can include expanding or breaking free of our constraints. Who placed these constraints upon ourselves? No one but ourselves. We have hypnotized ourselves into believing these constraints exist.Let me ask you this: When you're out kayaking, would you say you are happy?
Hi Rusty,I was telling the truth! I sincerely did like it! :) I still have yet to download your demos. I will give those a try from work, where I have a fast internet connection.Regarding art, I drew much better under the tutelage of my art teacher. She really guided me through a lot.
I_Wonder,Thanks for the link! It's a beautiful poem. This line really stood out for me:"...truly I know our part is not knowing..."I don't know if I've reached that level of understanding yet, but maybe someday I will.
So, Stacey, you agreed with that comment, and therefore didn't delete it.You are a censor. You, just like so many other liberals, hate freedom of speech, but don't like to admit it.This is why you've stopped posting to usenet - there, you actually had to occasionally come across alternate points of view.And ya couldn't delete them, either. Poor you :-(But this blog is your safe little censor cocoon, and you can exercise your red pen at whim.
Zarathustra,On this blog, it is OK to disagree with others. It is NOT ok to insult and abuse myself and others as you've done in the past. Also, you seem to like to use nasty words which I do censor to keep this blog clean.I don't censor disagreements. I do censor rudeness and nastiness, so you are correct.I prefer to keep the current atmosphere of this blog as it is: clean, friendly, spiritual, etc., so that it serves the majority that visits it. It has a nice sense of community.
Stacey, I thought I posted this last night but it appears I previewed but didn't publish. Sorry for the delay.I admire and respect you for the way you are upbeat and positive, for your courage, for the way you handle disagreement and for the tone and character of your blog. Thanks for your example. I look forward to reading more!
I_Wonder,Thanks! It means a lot to me to hear you say this. I can't quite say how much this circle of blogs means to me because of all the people I've met through it. I enjoy the conversations and the friends I've made. It keeps my spirits high. :)
I think that we imagine that we are content when in fact we are not. For this reason we do not value contentment. However contentment is a very big thing. We do not know how significant it would be to be completely satisfied. One does not need to be happy. It is completely satisfying to be content. Is "happy" better than this? It does not mean settling for less than you want. It mean seeing that what you have is completely satisfying. Only our thoughts prevent this from happening. In a sense are thoughts are dis-contentment.I am not saying that I can be content all of the time yet, but I have experienced it. Maybe happiness is not the best thing for us.In the long run I think that it makes more sense to seek contentment than happiness. But sometimes we also have to feed that still mechanical part of us that longs for happiness. (Even even if it is a delusion that will ultimately lead to sorrow.)What makes me content? Letting go of needs and concerns, and focusing attention on my Self here and now.What makes me happy? Stacey's undying kindness.
Hi Beard,Thanks! Your kindness is undying, too!Hey, I see now you have a maple leaf instead of an oak leaf. You're the tree guy. :)I'd say if someone has never experienced happiness, they might not need it. But once it's been experienced, it's almost a staple of life, necessary like bread and water.
Stacey,You have my full support and appreciation for properly disposing of any and all trolls.
While out kayaking I'd say I was contented not happy. For me, paddling with its rhythmic motions and lovely scenery is very conducive for meditation. And that puts me at peace with the world. Contented.
Stacey,I wanted a leaf that reflected autumn better. I really liked the golden color of this leaf.
Thanks, Beard. In that case, I will go on continuing to "de-wart" my blog. :)I've had a little chat with Mr. Zarathustra and I think he knows that only some of his posts will make it through the "red-penned" Stacey Censor.
Stacey, I re-read the comments and didn't see where anyone asked and didn't see where you specifically answered so "What makes you happy?"
Hi I_Wonder,There are many things that make me happy. Some of them are big and some are small. Obviously it makes me happy coming here and talking to you guys. I also am made happy loving on my pets. I have one cat in particular who likes to spend most of her time with me. She is always on my lap or wanting to be held. As I hold her across my shoulder she purrs deeply and kneads me with her paws. That makes me happy. Just holding her and kissing her.I am happy sitting in a comfortable chair with a book in my hands and a cat across my lap.I am happy in the company of my friends and family.I am happy biting into a piece of cheesecake, but this is the most fleeting happiness of all, as it only lasts as long as the piece of cake lasts!I am the most happy knowing there are people who love me and care about me.
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