This blog is a journal of my search for the Truth. I long to be enlightened. On my journey I seek a Spiritual Teacher who can help me find my way. They say that,"When the student is ready, the master appears."
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Gifts
What is the best gift - aside from family and friends - that you've been given? These don't necessarily have to be physical gifts; it's up to you.
Self-Awareness. I've always been very self-aware of my actions, motivations; feelings. Though often this has been a great curse as well.
Self expression. I've always had a gift for expressing myself. Verbally and in writing.
As far as physical gifts go.. I don't know that I can point to any one thing.. most of my favorite gifts have been either books or music of some kind. Mostly books though. The one exception is a 10" Batman action figure my girlfriend got for me a few years sgo (I collect Batman stuff). Its special not only because its a really nice figure (which is it) but because she picked it out for me without any prompting (I didn't even know the thing existed until she gave one to me!)
A small dark basement apartment in the Adams Morgan section of Washington D.C. I lived there for 3 years. It was my sister's. She was dancing for a local company, but spent most of her time checking in and out of the hospital due to her propensity to run razor blades along her forearms and go days without food. I mainly sat in the dark and drank and smoked and wrote and hid. I hated it there, but I felt like I belonged. I'm not sure anyone else can understand how that was a gift. It was.
You are lucky. I don't think I've received either of the gifts you have mentioned in your comment. I'm definitely lacking self-awareness, as it seems I'm living in "la-la land" most of the time. And self expression.... well.... maybe only a few times in my life have I received this gift, but only temporarily.
Is the Batman figurine you're speaking of one of those on the shelf in that picture of you on DeviantArt? I noticed a couple of them there the other night when I was checking out your gallery.
Why would you say it was a gift? Is it partly because it gave you a chance to look long and hard at yourself, and a chance to get to know yourself? Perhaps because you were able to be creative while there, through your writing?
I hope your sister is well. I once knew a "cutter".
Are you in the army? If so, what is your rank? How long have you been working for the UN?
A painter? Now that certainly is fascinating. I wish I could see some of your work. Maybe sometime you can take a picture of some of your work and put it on your blog. I'd like to see your style.
Sorry for harrassing you about your blog. Don't feel you need to be in a rush to update it on account of me. I didn't realize you were gone so much. I can see now why you appreciate understanding as a gift. I do understand. I'll keep on checking your blog regularly whether you update it or not. :)
I'm glad you were able to find some comfort here. I admit I'm not really aware of what's going on out in the world, but I think it's my fault that I put myself in that position. I have a tendency to avoid newspapers and sometimes the news on t.v. Most of the time when I do read or watch the news, I find it to be very heartbreaking. I usually feel out-of-the-loop in regards to current events and politics because of this flaw of mine. Maybe I've been living with a Pollyanna view of life for too long.
I'm glad you're safe back home and look forward to hearing from you when you have time.
Yes, I know about the earthquake. Mother nature seems to be wreaking havoc all over the place, lately. Tsunamis, hurricanes, floods, earthquakes... I wonder when it will all end? There has been too much all in such a small amount of time. I am led to wonder if there is some supernatural explanation for all of it.
I wish I could help as much as you are. Beard and I were just talking about something similar, and I mentioned that I don't feel like I do enough. People like you are out doing good things while I sit in the comfort and security of my home. You're a good man. I got a sensing of this from you almost immediately. I think that's why I like you. :)
18 comments:
Self-Awareness. I've always been very self-aware of my actions, motivations; feelings. Though often this has been a great curse as well.
Self expression. I've always had a gift for expressing myself. Verbally and in writing.
As far as physical gifts go.. I don't know that I can point to any one thing.. most of my favorite gifts have been either books or music of some kind. Mostly books though. The one exception is a 10" Batman action figure my girlfriend got for me a few years sgo (I collect Batman stuff). Its special not only because its a really nice figure (which is it) but because she picked it out for me without any prompting (I didn't even know the thing existed until she gave one to me!)
Awareness -- the gift that keeps on giving.
The gift of appreciation.
The greatest gift that I have received is divine love, which is expressed in part by the desire to help me to return to the divine.
The gift of acceptance.
The gift of remembrance.
A small dark basement apartment in the Adams Morgan section of Washington D.C. I lived there for 3 years. It was my sister's. She was dancing for a local company, but spent most of her time checking in and out of the hospital due to her propensity to run razor blades along her forearms and go days without food. I mainly sat in the dark and drank and smoked and wrote and hid. I hated it there, but I felt like I belonged. I'm not sure anyone else can understand how that was a gift. It was.
It still is.
Eliyahu ben Avraham vaSarah,
You are lucky. I don't think I've received either of the gifts you have mentioned in your comment. I'm definitely lacking self-awareness, as it seems I'm living in "la-la land" most of the time. And self expression.... well.... maybe only a few times in my life have I received this gift, but only temporarily.
Is the Batman figurine you're speaking of one of those on the shelf in that picture of you on DeviantArt? I noticed a couple of them there the other night when I was checking out your gallery.
Good answer, George!
Hey Rob,
I can appreciate that!
Beard,
That's a gift I'd like to share with you.
Castor and Pollux,
Me thinks you're one and the same. :)
Hi Change,
I was getting ready to come looking for you, but then it hit me, I have no way of getting in touch with you!
So, where did you go? Is it a secret?
In two days it will have been a month since you've posted on your blog. I'm really missing reading your writing.
The Vessel,
Why would you say it was a gift? Is it partly because it gave you a chance to look long and hard at yourself, and a chance to get to know yourself? Perhaps because you were able to be creative while there, through your writing?
I hope your sister is well. I once knew a "cutter".
No, those are others in my collection. The one she gave me sits on my desk. You can see it in the fourth picture down in this post:
Thought Dreams: Writing on the Wall
Stacey,
Yes, as all are one and the same.
But in our case there is no conflict.
Hi Change,
Are you in the army? If so, what is your rank? How long have you been working for the UN?
A painter? Now that certainly is fascinating. I wish I could see some of your work. Maybe sometime you can take a picture of some of your work and put it on your blog. I'd like to see your style.
Sorry for harrassing you about your blog. Don't feel you need to be in a rush to update it on account of me. I didn't realize you were gone so much. I can see now why you appreciate understanding as a gift. I do understand. I'll keep on checking your blog regularly whether you update it or not. :)
I'm glad you were able to find some comfort here. I admit I'm not really aware of what's going on out in the world, but I think it's my fault that I put myself in that position. I have a tendency to avoid newspapers and sometimes the news on t.v. Most of the time when I do read or watch the news, I find it to be very heartbreaking. I usually feel out-of-the-loop in regards to current events and politics because of this flaw of mine. Maybe I've been living with a Pollyanna view of life for too long.
I'm glad you're safe back home and look forward to hearing from you when you have time.
Change,
It's good to get a response from you so soon. :)
Yes, I know about the earthquake. Mother nature seems to be wreaking havoc all over the place, lately. Tsunamis, hurricanes, floods, earthquakes... I wonder when it will all end? There has been too much all in such a small amount of time. I am led to wonder if there is some supernatural explanation for all of it.
I wish I could help as much as you are. Beard and I were just talking about something similar, and I mentioned that I don't feel like I do enough. People like you are out doing good things while I sit in the comfort and security of my home. You're a good man. I got a sensing of this from you almost immediately. I think that's why I like you. :)
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