This blog is a journal of my search for the Truth. I long to be enlightened. On my journey I seek a Spiritual Teacher who can help me find my way. They say that,"When the student is ready, the master appears."
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Happy Thanksgiving!
I just wanted to wish all my friends a Happy Thanksgiving! I Love you all! :)
Stacey, Another fiesta. I went last night to a big party in a place called Plaza Mexicana. There was music from several live performers, which included a Tina Turner impersonatrice. When she started singing I went closer to see how she really looked like. It meant I have to dance my way closer to the stage. Well I wanted to try some really original and fancy moves, which she noticed very clearly. Probably due to my physical charisma; I read one time that instead of directing your movements, you just let your body move. I did that and I felt very inspired. To my surprise she pointed at me and ask me to dance with her on stage which I did. I really had a great time; even ended singing a duet with her. My boss who was there congratulated me and said I made myself immortal in doing this act. By the end of the party I was dancing with five beautiful young girls looking for trouble out there. I was very tired but I kept myself out of trouble. A good friend of mine who was interested in knowing about my philosophy asked me to sleep at his place, so we could have a long chat. His only son is already out of the house living with his girlfriend and he himself lives alone with his childhood sweetheart wife in a house he built himself. I think all he wanted to do was to show off his house, barnhouse, treehouse, and the wild deer outside in the snow-covered field. Anyway we ended talking about boats, ships, zen, and enlightenment. We talked for an hour after the party which lasted until about one o'clock in the morning. When I woke up late in the morning I was feeling unpopular for wasting myself at the party. In the past, I always suppressed myself and kept quiet most of the time because I didn't feel good about showing off and having a good time. Well that seemed to have changed. But now I have to keep up my image of being an artists, which can be intimidating sometimes. I am afraid trying to be subdued and humble is also part of being egoistic. And it is sometimes very difficult to forget what one has done after a wild evening.
Thanks to everyone for your holiday greetings! Wednesday night - the night before Thanksgiving - I went to my mother's house and my sister was there, too. I was just beginning to get over a bad cold. Well, we had so much fun and laughed so hard while playing a game of gin rummy that my cold came back! So, Thursday I went to my dad's and stepmom's house but was only able to stay long enough to eat because I needed to get in the bed and take cough medicine. :(
I think I've been mostly brain-dead lately. I don't know whether or not this is a good thing.
BasicallyI just haven't thought of anything to say. My mind has been slightly blank.
Also, it's winter time and my jovial tendencies start to disappear. But I'm doing better this year than last. :)
It's about this time last year that something happened that I can't let go of and the memories are haunting me.
But, I've at least now got this blog and it keeps me feeling cheerful and helps to keep my mind occupied. That's what I really need. I know I'm supposed to be reaching for no-mind, but nevermind the no-mind right now. :)
How can having innocent fun be so painful? Is it the thought of pride before the fall? The couple of beers made me do it. Everybody seems to be happy. Why shouldn't I be. My holy ego is suppressing me. Fear? Fear of criticism? Fear of being observed? Judged? Condemned? Castor loved it. But what a wimp!
Beard, Stacey seems to be having a case of neurasthenia brought about by the cold. And possibly burn-out. Good signs! If you ask me, I listen a lot to German music called "Ramstein". Terrible music; my German co-worker forces us to listen to it. Personally I prefer listening to Bonnie Tyler and Norah Jones. Heard some live music last week. It was terrible, these Dutch slagers.
I am beginning to think the Tina impersonatrice was one of my former aikido teachers. There's something in her eyes that made me think so. I'm really in love with her but I practically know nothing about her: especially what she does, for work and in her freetime. These rapport between us really fascinated me. But eventho she took off her heavy wig, I still didn't have a clue. Netherlands is such a small country, the chance she is the same woman is very big. If this is true then she knows where I hang out after leaving the dojo. It's funny these thoughts I have!
I know, nobody seems to like poor Barry. I do not understand it. He is really a good singer. He is a bit over the top with the sentimentality but I like that.
I do not know any of the performers you mentioned but I will try to look them up.
"But, I've at least now got this blog and it keeps me feeling cheerful and helps to keep my mind occupied. That's what I really need. I know I'm supposed to be reaching for no-mind, but nevermind the no-mind right now. :)" -- Stacey
That's it! You just hit the nail on the head. Who knows anything about the no-mind? I don't even know the mind!
20 comments:
Same to you my dear friend.
May you feel the presence of the divine be grateful.
Thanks for you, Stacey!
Blessings to you, Stacey!
Happy Saturday, Stacey.
Stacey,
Another fiesta. I went last night to a big party in a place called Plaza Mexicana. There was music from several live performers, which included a Tina Turner impersonatrice. When she started singing I went closer to see how she really looked like. It meant I have to dance my way closer to the stage. Well I wanted to try some really original and fancy moves, which she noticed very clearly. Probably due to my physical charisma; I read one time that instead of directing your movements, you just let your body move. I did that and I felt very inspired. To my surprise she pointed at me and ask me to dance with her on stage which I did. I really had a great time; even ended singing a duet with her. My boss who was there congratulated me and said I made myself immortal in doing this act.
By the end of the party I was dancing with five beautiful young girls looking for trouble out there. I was very tired but I kept myself out of trouble.
A good friend of mine who was interested in knowing about my philosophy asked me to sleep at his place, so we could have a long chat. His only son is already out of the house living with his girlfriend and he himself lives alone with his childhood sweetheart wife in a house he built himself. I think all he wanted to do was to show off his house, barnhouse, treehouse, and the wild deer outside in the snow-covered field. Anyway we ended talking about boats, ships, zen, and enlightenment. We talked for an hour after the party which lasted until about one o'clock in the morning.
When I woke up late in the morning
I was feeling unpopular for wasting myself at the party. In the past, I always suppressed myself and kept quiet most of the time because I didn't feel good about showing off and having a good time. Well that seemed to have changed. But now I have to keep up my image of being an artists, which can be intimidating sometimes.
I am afraid trying to be subdued and humble is also part of being egoistic. And it is sometimes very difficult to forget what one has done after a wild evening.
Well there is no Thanksgiving in England but I send you my best wishes all the same!
Hi Stacey,
My Thanksgiving was great. Hope you had a good holiday as well!
--Malcolm
Thanks to everyone for your holiday greetings! Wednesday night - the night before Thanksgiving - I went to my mother's house and my sister was there, too. I was just beginning to get over a bad cold. Well, we had so much fun and laughed so hard while playing a game of gin rummy that my cold came back! So, Thursday I went to my dad's and stepmom's house but was only able to stay long enough to eat because I needed to get in the bed and take cough medicine. :(
Where is my sunshine?
I'm here, Mr. Beard. Thanks for asking.
I think I've been mostly brain-dead lately. I don't know whether or not this is a good thing.
BasicallyI just haven't thought of anything to say. My mind has been slightly blank.
Also, it's winter time and my jovial tendencies start to disappear. But I'm doing better this year than last. :)
It's about this time last year that something happened that I can't let go of and the memories are haunting me.
But, I've at least now got this blog and it keeps me feeling cheerful and helps to keep my mind occupied. That's what I really need. I know I'm supposed to be reaching for no-mind, but nevermind the no-mind right now. :)
How are you doing?
How can having innocent fun be so painful?
Is it the thought of pride before the fall?
The couple of beers made me do it.
Everybody seems to be happy. Why shouldn't I be.
My holy ego is suppressing me.
Fear? Fear of criticism? Fear of being observed? Judged? Condemned?
Castor loved it. But what a wimp!
Hello Stacey,
I am doing great but I was starting to miss you. I went for a great hike Saturday as you will see on my blog.
"Never mind the no mind" That is nice. It is a good idea not to take things too seriously. If it makes you feel bad then it is better to take a break.
Lately someone has been playing Barry Maniloe here at work and I have to admit I am enjoying it. What kind of music have you been listening to lately?
Beard,
Stacey seems to be having a case of neurasthenia brought about by the cold. And possibly burn-out.
Good signs!
If you ask me, I listen a lot to German music called "Ramstein".
Terrible music; my German co-worker forces us to listen to it.
Personally I prefer listening to
Bonnie Tyler and Norah Jones.
Heard some live music last week. It was terrible, these Dutch slagers.
Beard,
Barry Manilow? Yuk!
Too squeaky clean and beautiful voice.
Just give me Tina and CCR.
Beard again,
I just resumed "plauging" my favorite Zen student. He doesn't seem to mind nowadays. He knows I'm trying to help him.
I am beginning to think the Tina
impersonatrice was one of my former aikido teachers. There's something in her eyes that made me think so. I'm really in love with her but I practically know nothing about her: especially what she does, for work and in her
freetime.
These rapport between us really fascinated me. But eventho she took off her heavy wig, I still didn't have a clue. Netherlands is such a small country, the chance she is the same woman is very big. If this is true then she knows where I hang out after leaving the dojo. It's funny
these thoughts I have!
Pollux,
I know, nobody seems to like poor Barry. I do not understand it. He is really a good singer. He is a bit over the top with the sentimentality but I like that.
I do not know any of the performers you mentioned but I will try to look them up.
"But, I've at least now got this blog and it keeps me feeling cheerful and helps to keep my mind occupied. That's what I really need. I know I'm supposed to be reaching for no-mind, but nevermind the no-mind right now. :)"
-- Stacey
That's it! You just hit the nail on the head. Who knows anything about the no-mind? I don't even know the mind!
Stacey,
Da's wha' am takin' 'bout!
Keep it up.
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