I thought I'd share with everyone the expectations I've had about enlightenment. These expectations led to what I'd like to call "spiritual frustration".
I imagined (and still do imagine) that all kinds of wonderful things will happen to me once I become enlightened. Some might seem silly, but I believe these expectations might get in my way of actually ever becoming enlightened.
I will list some of them here for you. While I am able to consciously be aware of them and actually list them on paper, I still seem to think something different is going to happen to me, though I don't know what it is. I expect somehow I'll feel differently.
I imagined that, while meditating, I'd see colorful swirling mists or lights, and hear heavenly sounds.
I thought, while meditating, that a divine hand would reach down and pull me out of my body in order to have an astral projection.
I had hoped I'd meet this wise teacher or guru, who would take me under his/her wing and lead me directly to enlightenment. I pictured in my mind someone magically touching my forehead and saying, "You are now enlightened.... yada yada yada.... You are now one of us."
I even thought I'd meet my wise teacher in dreamland. If he didn't exist in the physical realm, as so many have tried to tell me, then surely he must exist in the astral. I imagined my guide would speak to me and teach me things, passing his wisdom down to me.
Were these just the silly imaginings of a twenty-something girl? Was I over-romanticizing the idea of enlightenment?
Will I feel any different?
I know I need to get rid of my expectations if I plan on getting further down the path, but these expectations seem to stick to me like chewing gum.