Enlighten Me

Two Wolves

2012-02-13T13:05:00.000-05:00

A Cherokee elder sitting with his grandchildren told them, “In every
life there is a terrible fight – a fight between two wolves. One is
evil: he is fear, anger, envy, greed, arrogance, self-pity, resentment,
and deceit. The other is good: joy, serenity, humility, confidence,
generosity, truth, gentleness, and compassion.” A child asked,
“Grandfather, which wolf will win?” The elder looked him in the eye.
“The one you feed.”

Enjoying Fish

2012-02-12T23:02:00.002-05:00

One day Chuang Tzu and a friend were walking by a river. "Look at the fish swimming about," said Chuang Tzu, "They are really enjoying themselves."

"You are not a fish," replied the friend, "So you can't truly know that they are enjoying themselves."

"You are not me," said Chuang Tzu. "So how do you know that I do not know that the fish are enjoying themselves?"

Neither Here Nor There but Somewhere in Between

2008-07-25T21:46:00.002-04:00

My blog is now here: http://visionsoftheworld.blogspot.com/

Directions, Please

2006-07-24T22:11:00.000-04:00

"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.
"I don’t much care where—" said Alice.
"Then it doesn’t matter which way you go," said the Cat.
"—so long as I get somewhere," Alice added as an explanation.
"Oh, you’re sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long enough."

11:11

2006-07-11T11:16:00.000-04:00

It seems that lately when I've glanced at the clock, it says 11:11 exactly. And also, when I'm on the phone talking to someone and then hang-up, the timer on the phone's display will say 11:11 (eleven minutes and eleven seconds). It varies a little, for instance, sometimes it's 1:11. Or even 2:22, 3:33, 4:44 and 5:55. But mostly it's 11:11.

Getting Rid of Negative Energy

2006-04-05T20:57:00.001-04:00

You'd be surprised to find out what the source of negative energy is. You can place the blame on external factors but you would only be shirking taking responsibility for what is truly the source of the negative energy, which is YOU. You cannot control external events, but you can control your reaction to them.

What you focus on is what you give power. What you allow to affect you you give power.

The best psychic self-protection you can engage in is to use Will power, and to choose what type of energetic entity you wish to feed and which you wish to starve. Do you wish to live in a state of grief, or would you rather free yourself from it?

A quote which I think serves the subject nicely is, "You can't control the wind but you can adjust your sails."

I have said some things along similar lines on my current blog. The specific post of which I speak can be found here: http://visionsoftheworld.blogspot.com/2009/07/you-ask-about-negative-energy-heres.html

It's Nice

2006-04-05T14:30:00.000-04:00

Here's something insightful for you. Why don't you email someone you haven't talked to in a long time? It will make their day. Just a "hello" would suffice. Think in your mind a friend you have that you haven't talked to in a while. Call them or write to them.

Indecision

2006-04-05T13:32:00.000-04:00

I just felt like posting some quotes on indecision today. There has been a lot of that going on lately.

Then indecision brings its own delays, And days are lost lamenting o'er lost days. Author: Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Indecision is debilitating; it feeds upon itself; it is, one might almost say, habit-forming. Not only that, but it is contagious; it transmits itself to others.
Author: H. A. Hopf

There is no more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision. Author: William James

We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over.
Author: Aneurin Bevan

Neither have they hearts to stay, Nor wit enough to run away.
Author: Samuel Butler

Dream Journal April 5, 2006

2006-04-05T12:36:00.000-04:00

I had this dream last weekend but I forgot to post it, so here it is. Late, but better late than never.
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Someone takes a needle filled with salt water and sticks it in my arm, squirting the salt water inside. It stings badly.

Reliance

2006-03-31T13:57:00.000-05:00

I have a question for you. Tell me something. What is it you rely on?

Synchronicity Journal March 30, 2006

2006-03-30T10:14:00.000-05:00

I was just responding to Mark's comment on one of my posts. He had mentioned that perhaps I could describe the teachings I am getting right now in spirituality. I told him that right now I am reading the Jewish texts. As I typed out the word "Jewish", Sinead O'Connor sang into my headphones, "There's life outside your mother's garden." Mother = Eve, Garden = Garden of Eden.

Dream Journal 2 March 29, 2006

2006-03-29T22:17:00.000-05:00

Tonight I believe I had an out-of-body experience. Some of you might not believe me, might even label me as "crazy", but I'm telling you, it was real and it was magical. I'll tell you about that before I get to the dreams.

To begin with, I was falling. It's like I was falling down a deep tunnel of grey. I heard choirs singing. It was like the music of angels.

Another experience - I kept going around and around, as if there was a bar by my toes, and my toes were somehow magnetically attached to the bar so that I could keep flipping over and under over and over again like a gymnast. There wasn't really a bar there, I'm just trying to explain what the sensation was like.

OK, that is all for the out-of-body experiences. Now on to the dreams:

Dream 1:

I am not really a ghost, but look like one as I am having an out-of-body experience and my astral self is flying around the real world. People can see me and they go "ooooo and awwww" and point at me as I fly around.

Dream 2:

I get the impression I am in a farm house. I am naked. There is a grimy dirty man chasing me and grabbing onto me. He is trying to rape me. I can feel his body parts on my skin. I am trying to get away and I am crying. I am fighting him and trying to push him away and off of me.

Dream 3:

I am with a dream-husband in a house. A guy who lives next door who has long blonde hair is over visiting. When my dream-husband is in another room, the next door neighbor confesses to me, "I've always been in love with you." My husband comes back so we stop the conversation. Then, my husband says he is going to go get us all a pizza. When my husband leaves the house, the next door neighbor and I start to have sex on the couch, but we hear the door open. My husband didn't really leave to get pizza. It is dark in the house, and I tell myself that if I hurry fast enough, I can get my clothes pulled back up before my husband turns on the light and sees what we've been up to. My husband says, "I knew you two had something going on." But when the light comes on, he sees my clothes are on. I tell him he's wrong, that there wasn't really anything going on. But then he notices a part of my pants are stuck in my shoelaces and he catches me in the lie.

Dream 4:

Note: I don't know why I keep having dreams about marijuana, but here is another one.

There are people over my house. One of the guys brings some marijuana joints with him. He gives me two of them to do with as I like. Later I see him outside. The cops are there. He is talking to the cops. When the cops are busy, he tells me, "They already got me. You better hide your joints and keep them to use later on." I panic. I start running around the house trying to find a place to hide them. First I put them in the egg carton in the refrigerator. Later, as the cops start coming up to the door, I change my mind thinking they'll look there so I grab them and put them in a cassette-tape player that is sitting up on a high shelf, thinking they'll never look in there.

The cops come in. They can't find any joints, so we're safe until they tell me and my dream-husband that we have to take a mental test to be sure we're not stoned. I take the test as the cop draws it out on paper. I tell him, "This is like a brain-teaser. It's fun." I pass the test but my dream-husband gets the answer wrong. Luckily the cop decides my dream-husband isn't stoned anyway so he lets us go.

A Man Made Me Cry

2006-03-29T14:28:00.000-05:00

Michael made me cry today. Read this post to find out why, and see if it makes you cry, too:

http://awakenenlighten.blogspot.com/2006/02/in-previous-life.html

News Article on Higher Consciousness

2006-03-29T13:45:00.000-05:00

In my never-ended search for higher states of consciousness, I found this little article on the Scotsman news webpage. It's an older article, from around January of 2005, but it's still interesting, none the less. Maybe if I bang my head hard enough on a wall I'll get what I've been looking for. :)
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Higher states of consciousness
MEDICINE
MARGARET COOK

PICTURE THIS: A 43-year-old lady is being treated for temporal lobe epilepsy in a Swiss clinic. In order to pinpoint the aberrant electrical focus in her brain, electrodes have been implanted under the dura - the membrane covering the brain. When she is wakened, the doctors stimulate different areas and watch the results.

When they activate an area called the angular gyrus on the right side, she reports a feeling of "sinking into the bed". This progresses to "falling from a height". With stronger currents she reports she is "floating two metres above the bed" and actually able to see her own body parts lying below her.

She is having an "Out of Body Experience" (OBE), and hers is a classical description.
Some 10 per cent of the population endure these sensations at some time. These can be terrifying, though mostly brief. Associated with epilepsy and migraine, they also occur in normal people, often in states of altered consciousness. They seem to be closely linked to "Near Death Experiences" (NDEs), which take place in extremis, due to an interruption in the supply of oxygen to the brain: or occur when under the influence of drugs - opiates, ketamine, LSD and other hallucinogens - or of sensory deprivation, or brain stimulation of the right angular gyrus as described above.

One of the most celebrated cases was that of the psychologist, Carl Jung. After a heart attack, heavily doped and unconscious, he saw a huge dark stone in space, a meteorite with an entrance into a chamber, where he met a Hindu. Thinking he was about to be inducted into life’s mysteries, his hopes were dashed by his doctor appearing in the guise of a Greek healer, telling him he was not destined to die yet. Jung survived, much impressed with himself, and his visionary life flowered. His major works were then written and he was hailed and worshipped as a guru, much revered by New Agers in the 1960s and by mainstream thinkers.

Jung was neither the first nor the most fascinating case of OBE or NDE. He followed a long line of forceful personalities who used trance-states to mesmerise ordinary folk into thinking they were spiritually special.

Hallucinations and illusions have fascinated humankind from the dawn of our being: that is to say, from the time when our neurological networks had sufficiently evolved to experience and describe them - about 50,000 years ago, give or take. We know this from the evidence of cave art from prehistoric and more modern sites from several continents.

The famous cave paintings of South Africa, for instance, were inspired by memories of images from a state of altered consciousness - induced by plant chemicals, by sleep and sensory deprivation, by isolation, by rhythmic music and dance - by shamans in connection with rituals and religion.

Those paintings have astonishing parallels with rock art from the American continent and from the pre-historic rock art of caves in France and Spain. Many are extraordinarily inaccessible, reached by crawling along narrow, dark, wet passages, through lakes and pot-holes. It was believed that caves were anterooms to a world of spirits - and the cave wall whereon the paintings were made was a thin membrane between the two worlds.

Shamans used their inner revelations to act as intermediaries between the spirits and the people, much as priests do today. They thereby achieved power and status.

The depictions on the cave walls and the content of modern human trance-like states are strikingly similar and reproducible. Vision-questers, by whatever route, feel they leave their bodies, pass through a hole or aperture and along a tunnel or vortex. Early on, they see geometric shapes, lines and zig-zags. Later they encounter scary animals which must be overcome before meeting a spiritual supreme being. Other features common to multiple cultures are emerging from water; flight; a bright and blinding light; and, curiously, bleeding from the nose or mouth. In some cultures, aspiring shamans were obliged to go through painful and dangerous ordeals which really did bring them to the brink of death.

How many parables and allegories have these components? Pilgrim’s Progress, Lord of the Rings, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and many biblical tales all do.

Scientists believe that only humans have "higher consciousness" - which is difficult to define, but consists of a greater understanding of our place in time and space; our temporal nature; communication of abstract concepts through language and so on.

This cerebral conscious level conflicts with primary consciousness - which we share with animals - which has evolved multiple survival techniques, many of which are nothing whatever to do with sophisticated, scientific truth. However, our higher consciousness can go awry - very awry if we help it along by trying to escape its stern logic through vision-questing.

So now we know how, in theory, to tickle our brains into priestly status. It’s a bit of a cultural and sacred climb-down. It could be good for migraine and epilepsy sufferers, though. And it casts a little more light on that mysterious entity, consciousness. But the fundamental question remains: What - and where - is it?

This article: http://news.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=4442005
Last updated: 03-Jan-05 02:54 BST

Dream Journal March 29, 2005

2006-03-29T11:25:00.000-05:00

Note: In college I worked for four years as a computer consultant in the computer lab at the university. I had a boss named R.B.
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In this dream, I get the feeling that I haven't been to work in a long time. I show up, and a fellow computer consultant informs me that we have a new boss. (I forget his name.) I go to a podium and pick up a white long telephone to call him to introduce myself. I am extremely nervous. I say, "Hi, this is Stacey. Um... I just wanted to say I'm here at work...well... I got here on time a few hours ago... but I'm calling now and I want to say I'm here for anything that you might need."

Later on I look at our shift schedule and see that the new boss didn't schedule me to work very many hours and I am upset about this. I say, "I can't work here with so few hours on the schedule."
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Note 2: When I worked in the real lab, I always worried about getting the right number of shift hours each semester. I had to practically beg the boss to keep me loaded on hours. I haven't worked in the computer lab since December of 2001.

The Four Learning Styles

2006-03-28T08:46:00.000-05:00

I'm a Visual/Verbal learner. What are you?

http://www.metamath.com/lsweb/fourls.htm

Spiral Dynamics Color Codes

2006-03-28T08:39:00.000-05:00

Does anyone understand the spiral dynamics color code? How does one know what color type they are? Do I just pick whatever color most matches my personality type? I'm thinking I'm blue (which just also happens to be my favorite color), but is there a test I have to take to determine this?

http://www.spiraldynamics.org/Graves/colors.htm

Jung Typology Test

2006-03-28T08:26:00.000-05:00

I was filling out my profile for the forums on the Integrative Spirituality webpage, and one of the questions it asked was what type of personality I have, so I took the Jung Typology test. It turns out I'm an ISFP.

Your Type is ISFP

Strength of the preferences %
Introverted 89
Sensing 50
Feeling 62
Perceiving 33

ISFP type description by D.Keirsey
ISFP type description by J. Butt

Try the test out for yourself if you haven't already:
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

Party Time

2006-03-24T00:55:00.000-05:00

The world is a great big giant shiny disco ball. Let's just all dance and have a good time.

Time for a Fortune

2006-03-23T14:20:00.000-05:00

I went to an Asian buffet for dinner last night. I got two fortune cookies. I just now opened and ate them. Here are the fortunes with their respective lucky numbers. If you play these lucky numbers in a lottery and win, remember who gave them to you! :)

"A modest man never talks to himself."
6, 12, 23, 35, 42, 51

"There is a prospect of a thrilling time ahead of you."
3, 5, 10, 31, 38, 50

My thoughts on these fortunes:

I must be a modest person, because I never talk to myself. Not that I frown upon those who do.

I hope there really is a thrilling time ahead of me. I'm looking forward to it.

Dream Journal March 23, 2006

2006-03-23T10:48:00.000-05:00

Note: I've been feeling a little angry lately. I'm thinking my anger has rubbed off into my dreams. You'll see for yourself once you read this one -

I'm at a dinner party in a large banquet hall. I'm sitting at a table eating my dinner. I'm talking to a man. There is a woman with him and she is standing beside him. I can tell she is getting impatient because he is talking to me. Eventually, she walks a few feet away and stands, so that the man will notice and leave me to go stand beside her. I take my plate of food - spaghetti I think - and pour it all over her. I say to her, "Well you're not the talkative type, are you!"

Mundane Life

2006-03-23T08:23:00.000-05:00

I was reading Rob's blog earlier, and he had a post that simply relayed a thought. This was his thought: "Usually I am fooled into thinking that everyday life is mundane."

I thought about this for a moment, and I remembered that I often complain about everyday life being mundane. In fact, as I commented on Rob's blog, I usually call it, "Everyday mundane life". Now that this is being brought to the surface, I realize that I used to not think of life as mundane. It happened when I started to become spiritual. Everyday life just doesn't seem to cut it anymore. I could never go back. Also, I feel sorry for the people who are stuck there - the people who have no sense of spirituality at all. They wake-up in the mornings, go to work, come home, eat, watch t.v. and go to bed, only to wake-up again the next morning. I do this, too, except for the watching t.v. part. But, I feel that in my life there is an extra component, and that is purpose. I feel that my purpose is to become more than I already am, to reach higher levels of consciousness and to gain more knowledge and enlightenment. This brings more challenge into life. I'm not saying life is a game that is only meant to be played in a competitive way with the sole purpose of winning. I'm not here to beat anyone or be better than anyone. I'm only here to improve myself and gain the things I seek.

At the same time, I also think Rob's thought serves as a lesson to me, to start to try to learn to see things in everyday life that aren't mundane. This can bring added benefits to my experience.

[Update 2-7-07: It is funny to read go back and read this, because I no longer feel this way. I enjoy every day life, now. I am rarely bored, because I can find things to entertain myself with. Even "every day life" has its surprises.]

Dream Journal March 22, 2006

2006-03-22T09:39:00.000-05:00

My real boss, in the dream, had an identical twin brother. I was sitting in a class and he and his twin brother were up at the head of the room at a pulpit and were reading from the Bible. I started feeling vibrations throughout my body, and then I passed out and had an out-of-body experience. When I woke up, I was in a medical room, and people were looking over me explaining that I had passed out.
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Note: My boss is a devout Christian. He'd probably be thrilled to hear about this dream, and would no doubt tell me, even if somewhat jokingly, that maybe it's a sign I should convert to Christianity. But I don't think that's the case. I'm left pondering its meaning and value....

Dream Journal March 21, 2006

2006-03-21T20:57:00.000-05:00

Dream 1:

I enter my hotel room and go into the bathroom. There are strangers in there who have broken into my room. They grab me, and while holding onto me they lift my shirt up and start beating my back with a belt.

Later in the dream they're passing out marijuana around the room. My sister is there. Everybody is smoking it, and I'm about to smoke it when the FBI and hotel manager break the door down and start arresting everyone for smoking marijuana. When they barge into the room, I'm laying on the floor with a sheet pulled over my body up to my head. They don't arrest me because I haven't smoked it yet.

Next scene - I'm in a truck with one of the guys who broke into the hotel room. It's night-time and he's driving down a road. He offers me a huge marijuana cigarette. I take it and smoke it. I get high.

Dream 2:

I'm laying face down on a bed. My dream military boyfriend walks into the room and slaps my backside once really hard, and says he did it because I'm "not patriotic".

Dream 3:

A group of people surrounding me are pledging allegiance to the American flag. In the dream, it doesn't look like the real flag, but instead is a red silk rectangle with black stars covering it. I refuse to raise my hand to my heart and also refuse to say the pledge. I get in trouble.

Dream 4:

I'm in class. The teacher says it is time to turn in the homework. I haven't even started the homework. I quickly try to jot some answers down. When we're all in line at the desk turning in our homework, the teacher says she'll give us some of the answers and to write them down.

Dream Journal March 20, 2006

2006-03-21T20:55:00.000-05:00

I was at my dream-grandmother's house. (Not my real grandmother.) Someone had died in the bathtub and had been there a while. I had a latex glove on and stuck my hand down in the water. When I pulled my hand out, it was covered in blood and gross human-rot slime. I immediately wanted to wash my hands, even though I had the glove on. My dream-grandmother yelled at me for wanting to wash my hands, but I told her, "But grandmother, I've got OCD, I HAVE to wash my hands right away!"

Dream Journal March 18, 2006

2006-03-18T21:32:00.000-05:00

[Note: This dream contains the word "vagina". If you find that word offensive, you may not wish to read this dream. However, this dream is not a sexually-oriented dream.]

I am in a large building made of glass. It is made of many hallways and rooms. The building is close to the ocean. A giant robot comes upon the building. Everyone begins running around in chaos, trying to escape the giant robot because it is firing deadly ray beams at its victims. I'm running around through the halls and rooms, trying to find the safest place to escape death. I am very frightened.

I escape the building and begin running down toward the beach. Along the beach is a high chain-link fence. At the top of the fence is razor wire. Everyone is making a run for the waters of the ocean, including me. I thinking about climbing the fence, but I see some people trying to dig under it. I run to a place where the fence is unstable, and a couple of people are holding the fence up for some of us to run under. I look behind me and see a man slowly coming towards this part of the fence, but he is on crutches. I decide to stay and hold the fence for him so that he too can escape.

We all make it into the water. Suddenly, there is this giant green plant-like monster that is attacking some of the people in the water. I try to swim away from it. I end-up in this glass globe of air under the water. There are various rooms in it. There are all kinds of items, toys, etc. in this glass globe. The items are in different colors. Somehow I know I need to collect as many green items as possible, for I will be able to use the green items against the plant monster. I collect as many green items as I can. They will help protect me, at least for a little while.

Next, I am laying flat on my back somewhere under the ocean. I am looking between my legs, which are naked and spread wide open. Large slugs and other similar creatures begin to come out of my vagina. I can actually feel this in my dream.
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This is probably the strangest dream I've ever had. I had a bowl of homemade chili before taking the nap, so maybe that is why it was so strange, but the chili was not spicy. I feel very strange even now, hours after the nap. This is one of those dreams that is lingering with me emotionally. I am terrified of the green plant monster and also of the fact that slugs and other slimy things came out of me. What's even more strange is that I remember the physical sensation I felt as they were coming out.

I really wish to know what this dream means. I haven't a clue. But the desire is there to know and understand it.

Dream from March 17, 2006

2006-03-18T11:47:00.000-05:00

Dream 1:

I found a box of items that belonged to my father from the 1980s. One of the items in the box is a big remote-controlled car. I take it over to a house where my sister is. She too has a remote-controlled car, but hers is smaller. We play around with the cars, and I cause mine to drive over her car.

Dream 2:

I'm inside a big mansion. The owners are showing me around. One of the rooms we walk through is a tomb room. The floor is marble and inside the floor are tombs of dead people.

On a higher level of the mansion is a window that overlooks a large circular courtyard. The courtyard is made up of a cemetary, but all the tombstones are giant white marble slabs, it looks almost Italian.

We move into another room of the mansion. Suddenly I feel overwhelmed, as if I might break something if I'm not careful. I'm afraid to move. I feel that if I sit down on the floor I won't break anything so that's what I do - I sit right down on the floor. The owner says to me, "You're like a dog."

Later in the dream we're continuing our tour. I have to go to the bathroom really bad. I pass by several bathrooms. Most of the toilets are overflowing and water is all over the floor, so I can't use them. I see a toilet in another room that I can use but when I lift the seat up there is a big black spider, so I can't use it. I pass by a bedroom. There is a maid in there cleaning the room. The room has a waterbed and it too, like the toilets, is overflowing water all over the floor. Then I pass by more bathrooms with the hopes of using one, but each time I pass by one there is someone already seated on the toilet, so I can't use them.

Synchronicity Journal March 17, 2006

2006-03-18T11:43:00.000-05:00

I was sitting in the driver's seat of my car. I was waiting at a car shop - one of the cars was being dropped off to be repaired. I looked over at the right front tire of the car that was being dropped off and the tire said, "Dayton". That's the brand of the tire. I looked over in the passenger seat of the car I was in and there was a big green receipt that said, "Dayton Freight". It's the name of the freight company that had delivered the car parts that were needed to fix the damaged car.

Native American Zodiac

2006-03-15T15:03:00.000-05:00

I was over reading Anonymous Julie's blog and she was talking about Native American lore and what her month's animal was. This inspired me to do my own research to see what my animal is, and I have determined that I belong to the "Deer People". The attributes seem to match me fairly well. My traits are below, and if you're interested in finding out what you are, go to the Native American Zodiac.

Deer People
Birth Dates - May 21st - June 20th
Earth Influence - The Flowering time
Influencing Wind - The East wind
Totem - Eagle
Direction - The South East Winds
Element - Air with Fire
Elemental - Butterfly (air) Clan
Function - To Observe
Birth & Animal Totem - Deer
Plant Totem - Mullein
Stone Totem - Agate
Polarity Totem - Owl
Affinity Color - Orange
Musical Vibration - E Natural
Personality - Quick, Alert, Talkative, Congenial, Moody
Feelings - Sensitive but superficial
Intention - Versatility
Nature - Lively
Positive Traits - Friendly, witty and intellectual
Negative Traits - Inconsistent, Restless, Lazy & Despondent
Sex Drive - Titillating
Compatibility's - Crows and Otters
Conscious Aim - To bring together
Subconscious Desire - Mastery of the mind
Life Path - Coordination
Spiritual Alchemy - Yang Predominates
Should Cultivate - Concentration, persistence, sympathy
Should Avoid - Moodiness, inconsistency and superficiality

I really do enjoy observing people. Also, I consider myself very friendly, talkative, witty and I at least like to believe I'm intellectual. I'm also sensitive at times. I can, however, also be lazy or moody. I think the conscious aim they've "assigned" to me is right on - I really want "to bring together" everyone. I see myself doing that often, or at least trying to. When I see people arguing or holding grudges, I like to play matchmaker and try to get them to make peace with one another.

This was fun. Thanks to Anonymous Julie for the inspiration.

Synchronicity Journal March 14, 2006

2006-03-15T14:06:00.000-05:00

In the morning, I was online entering sweepstakes. One of the sweepstakes that I discovered was one to win tickets to see The Chieftains playing in concert.

Later at night, I was opening the big Jewish Study Bible to a random page and the first two words that caught my eye were "the chieftains". It was on page 285, Numbers 1:16.

Dreams from March 11, 2006

2006-03-12T01:19:00.000-05:00

Dream 1:

I'm in a car and a giant frog hops across the road in front of the car. I point out the huge frog to whoever is in the car with me.

Dream 2:

First I'm in a bus. Someone, or someTHING, starts shooting at everyone with a rifle. Next I'm in a car beside the bus, and again someone or something is shooting towards the car from a window on the bus. I lay down on the floor of the backseat trying to escape the bullets.

Fantasy Change

2006-03-08T12:07:00.000-05:00

I would like you all to imagine going back in time. You're going back in time in order to fix or change something that you did in the past. What is it you would change?

(I know this is a very personal question, so feel free to use the anonymous feature in the comments section if you want to.)

Dream Journal - March 2, 2005

2006-03-02T21:13:00.000-05:00

This is going to be short. I don't hardly remember a thing from my dreams last night, but just now, at 9:00 pm I was practically shot down by a vivid memory of last night's dream. If you're hungry for a dream story, this probably won't satiate your hunger, it's only a few lines long because it's all I remember.

I was on my bicycle. The front tire had training wheels. Even though it was an adult bike there were still children's training wheels on the front tire. I was riding on a boardwalk that was up in the air a bit of a way above the ground. There were no guard rails. It would be easy to fall off the board walk onto the ground below; one could be either greatly injured or killed. The further I rode on the boardwalk, the more narrow it became. Soon, it was just an inch wider than my front bicycle tire, and the training wheels were off the edge. If I were to lose my balance and begin to tilt, there would be no board to place my feet on, I could simply fall off. Before too long, the narrow board turned into a line, and then curved into nothingness. It simply stopped.

The next scene, I'm in a restaurant. That's all I remember.

Dream Journal - Last Weekend's Dream

2006-03-02T11:11:00.000-05:00

I forget what day I had this dream on, but it was either Saturday the 25th of February or Sunday the 26th. It's difficult for me to explain this dream, because I only remember bits and pieces of it and fitting it all together is a little bit of a task, but I will try my best. I think in this dream there was a lot of symbolism and I'd be very interested to get any opinions on what you think they mean.

And now, the dream:

I'm in a plane in the back row of seats. I'm seated by the window and the plane begins to descend. I can feel the sensations of the descent in my stomach. It's really a very pleasant sensation, as if I'm free falling but everything is safe, and I'm not worried. I look outside the window and I see brown wet lands. It is a swamp.

I'm in the plane because I'm considering leaving my job and moving to a new home. I'm to look at a house that I might be purchasing.

I'm in the house, now. It's not a large house. It's just a nice average-income home. The people who used to live here have already left the house, and it is mostly empty but there is still a lot of stuff left here. They told me before I came that I was welcome to keep anything if I wanted it. I look in a closet. There is a black garbage bag inside. I take it out and open it. Inside is a collection of horror magazines. I glance through some of the magazines filled with scary pictures and I decide I want to keep the bag.

The dream shifts. Now the house is like a large museum and souvenir store. It's a museum of statues from different religions. The museum is dark, but I'm wearing a large wooden bracelet that has Buddha's head on it. The head is surrounded by burning candles. The bracelet lights my way.

Next I am inside the souvenir store. I am looking at sterling silver rings. The rings all have symbols from different religions. I grab a ring and put it on. It is shaped in the form of a head of a Native American Indian. I want to buy it. Also, I grab a necklace with a white rectangular porclain charm. On the charm is the word, "Illuminati". I intend to buy that necklace in addition to the ring.
------

There is more to this dream that I do not remember. But, there are many symbols here: the Buddha head bracelet with the candles, the Indian ring, the "Illuminati" charm. I wonder what it all means? I don't really know who or what the Illuminati is, although I've seen the word before. I know it is some kind of club, perhaps like the Freemasons.

Synchronicity Journal March 28, 2006

2006-02-28T11:25:00.000-05:00

Just now I had two incidences hit me right away, and they hit me hard! Allow me to explain....

Last night I received an email from my friend "D.". He sent me a picture of the Aurora Borealis. This very moment I'm having an email conversation with my friend "K." He said he would be going to Hawaii this year for his honeymoon.

Here's the nice little bit of synchronicity: Just a few moments ago I went to a spiritual forum and saw a post made by a person called "Aurora Borealis", and the subject of his post was "Hawaiian Rules".

Homosexual Primeval Man?

2006-02-28T09:48:00.000-05:00

I have received two philosophical questions from a man named "K.". We thought we'd post them here and see what your reaction and/or response might be to the questions.

"What if Adam or Eve had been gay? How did God engineer it so they were not?"

Think on it and give it a shot. :)

The Message is Clear

2006-02-23T23:16:00.000-05:00

Tonight, I was doing my weekly Technorati search for blog postings that contained the word "enlightenment". Ninety-five percent of the time I land on blogs that make no reference whatsoever to enlightenment of the spiritual type. Tonight, however, not only did I land on enlightenment of the spiritual type, I landed in a spiritual gold mine.

A message, "channeled" into the mind of a young 29 year-old man in the "Land of Consciousness", made its way to the public in the form of a blog posting. Whether or not you believe in channeling, this message is truly of important quality. It speaks of what I've been feeling all along and I strongly want to share it with others. In fact, not only will I be posting a link on this blog, I plan on eMailing a few others who are not regular readers of my blog but through some point in my life have made a spiritual connection with me.

While I am not entirely sure of the importance the year 2012 has, as I've never ran across mentioning of that year in specific, the rest of the message in general is on-topic to what I've wished for the world for a long time.

I hope you will take a moment and read this message. I also hope it touches you as it has touched me! The link is right below this paragraph.

http://awakened1.blogspot.com/2006/02/this-message-is-one-and-is-many.html

Hypothetical Government

2006-02-21T10:50:00.000-05:00

J has probably noticed my lack of new topics lately, and so I think he is rescuing me and my blog as he has emailed me a wonderful new topic to introduce to the blog. Maybe this is what I should start doing - allowing my readers to come-up with topics for others to join in discussion. This way my blog won't die completely, but instead would allow it to be rejuvinated!

Here is a new topic that I'm anxious to get some ideas/opinions on. This topic was brought-up by J-

I challenge everyone to think up the next form of 'government' by which to have a social and equitable peace, with room for those who wish to 'seek god'. Prompting this challenge is the fact that all governments in existence today are pretty old and wearing out, not satisfying the needs of 'all' humanity. (this is not a criticism of our gov't). Perhaps some 'lay-thinking' on the subject can come up with some new approaches, and who better to try than 'spiritual seekers'?

What is the Most Valuable Thing in Life?

2006-02-08T16:21:00.000-05:00

J (I'll call him "J" for now until I get his permission to call him by his first name on the blog... for privacy reasons...) asked me today what was the most valuable thing is in this life (besides making a living in order to eat). So, I'd like to ask everyone here the same question. What is the most valuable thing in life?

Water Messages

2006-02-03T10:44:00.000-05:00

Water is the gift of life.

When I watched the movie "What the Bleep Do We Know?", there was a part where the woman went down in the subway. There was a lady talking by some signs. On the signs were different pictures of water crystals. Some of the pictured crystals were beautifully shaped, others were very ugly. The lady said that some Buddhist monks had meditated on the water using different sayings, like "I love you," or "I hate you," etc. The water that had been meditated on with good sayings had the beautifully shaped crystals, and the water with the bad sayings had the ugly crystals. We might want to think about how what we think affects the world. Thoughts are powerful things!

Fortune Cookies

2006-01-31T14:32:00.000-05:00

I went out to eat Thursday night. I had two fortune cookies. I think they definitely say good things:

"Sharing little joys offers great hope to others."

"No man is a failure who is enjoying life."

And just for a fun little game, for those of you who play the lottery, here are the numbers on them in the same respective order as above:

11, 14, 20, 25, 29, 30

8, 10, 14, 39, 40, 45

Now if anyone wins, just remember who shared these numbers. :) Hehehe!

Bring on the New Year!

2005-12-31T23:15:00.000-05:00

Hi Folks,

In 30 minutes, it will be 2006 for me! (It may have already happened for you, depending on where you live.) I don't know what my New Year's resolutions are yet. I don't know... work out more maybe... finish things I've started (which includes several books I have started but not finished), DIET!!!, do laundry more often instead of letting it pile-up, be more organized... I think there are lots of things about myself that I can change. I know I really need to stay in better touch with my friends. Friends are really important to me. I really could have done more for this blog. I've let it go the past month. We've had such a nice group of friendship here, and I've let it slide. My New Year's resolution (or at least one of them), is to start a forum on this blog so that anyone can talk whenever they want to about almost anything! (Excuse the excess of cheer.... I've had more than my fair share of raspberry Belgian beer. :)

This will be short for now, but I didn't want to let the new year come without my message going out to you all. May you all have a wonderful new year!

I love you guys!

What is Enlightenment?

2005-12-01T14:39:00.000-05:00

I've had a couple people ask me in a previous post what I thought enlightenment is. Instead of responding under the comments, I'll post this here so everyone can see.

I don't know of a direct response to that question, and no, I'm not even going to look the word up in the dictionary, because I feel that enlightenment is very personal and can't be defined by a dictionary.

I think enlightenment is that which fills the void. It is waking up and touching universal consciousness. It is finally not only realizing, but feeling that I am One with everything. I think that no matter how many friends or relatives I have, there is a loneliness that lies deep within, and only enlightenment can take away that loneliness. The loneliness is there as a calling. Its purpose is to lead me toward enlightenment, and the work that must be done to achieve it. I believe that until that longing is gone, I am unenlightened.

I once believed that enlightenment meant getting answers. I thought that with enlightenment came answers to questions such as "Who am I?", "What is my purpose in this life?", "What will happen to my soul when I die?", and so on. Basicially just receiving answers to the most enigmatic questions of all time.

I also believed that once I became enlightened I'd have special powers. I'd be able to have increased abilities, especially in intuition. I'd become suddenly more knowledgeable, more intelligent, more wise. I would be able to talk and walk with spirit guides in another plane. I'd have visions.

But I now believe - even though I haven't attained it yet - that enlightenment is actually a very simple thing. There are no special powers that come with enlightenment. There are no answers. There is just being One and finally being able to be at rest with that.

So, that is what I think enlightenment is. Now, we all have our own definitions of what enlightenment is, and my perception of enlightenment may be all wrong. But whatever it is, I hope someday I can become enlightened.

Now, I'd like to ask all of you something. What do you think enlightenment is?

The Easy Way

2005-11-28T16:26:00.000-05:00

I wish there were a Cliff's Notes on Enlightenment.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2005-11-23T22:52:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to wish all my friends a Happy Thanksgiving! I Love you all! :)

Now I've Seen Everything!

2005-11-23T07:24:00.000-05:00

It's a stuffed Buddha!!! Isn't it cute? This is definitely going on my Christmas list. I saw this this morning and it just made me smile. Enjoy the image as much as I have. :)

A Little Nondual Chatter

2005-11-21T15:54:00.000-05:00

If there is only One, then perhaps I (The Self, The One) felt lonely and had to create many illusions to not feel so alone.

Regarding Kabbalah and Healing

2005-11-21T14:22:00.000-05:00

Eliyahu ben Avraham vaSarah brought-up an interesting piece of dialogue in the comment section of my last post. I thought I'd place it here where everyone can view it and give your opinion on where you think healing should begin. Topics can range from healing the body, mind, spirit, individual or world.

Where does healing begin? (Dialogue start-up is below.)
--------------------------

Eliyahu ben Avraham vaSarah said...
The first question that pops to mind is where did the quote come from? There is no single work known as "The Kabbalah." Kabbalah is a mystic tradition that includes numerous texts and teachings. Not saying anything about the quality of the quoted material, but the citation set my alarms off. And with the recent facination with Pop-Kabbalah (which is mostly garbage) I'm always a bit on guard about such things. I do agree with the sentiment expressed in the piece you quote. Although I would argue that healing the world will help heal all of us.

Stacey said...
Eliyahu ben Avraham vaSarah, Thanks for your concern. Perhaps I was a little negligent in my quote. I should have stated that it came from the doctrine known as the Kabbalah. The quote itself says,"As the ancient mystical doctrine, the Cabala, says, we receive light and then we impart it... and thus we repair the world." (page xii)This comes from the book "Handbook for the Soul", edited by Richard Carlsen & Benjamin Shield.I like to look at it this way. If the world is filled with war and hate, it is probably because the world is filled with unconscious people. These people need to first be made conscious and aware. Start small and progress in stages until the world has become healed.However, were the world as a whole to be miraculously cured of evil and hate, it would follow that individuals would be cured.It's like a disease. First, find out what causes the entire body to be sick. Cure that one particular illness, and in return the entire body will be healthy.
---------------

The latter is of course just my opinion so feel free to jump-in with your opinion! I'm off the soap-box now so it's your turn. :)

Light

2005-11-21T13:31:00.000-05:00

Bill sent me an envelope filled with invaluable information. One line in particular stands out, and I'd like to share it here. I may post a few more lines throughout the day or next few days.

"...We receive the light and then we impart it..."
-The Kabbalah

This is in reference to the fact that we cannot begin to heal the world until we heal ourselves. We must first nourish our own souls so that we can next begin to nourish the world.

If You Could Choose....

2005-11-19T20:53:00.000-05:00

Which would you choose in this lifetime?

a. Sex, passion... knowing that someday the flame would slowly dwindle...

-Or-

b. Eternal friendly love, knowing that it would last forever and on a more spiritual plane...

?

Do not let my adjectives sway you one way or the other. Please choose honestly.

Angel Poem

2005-11-18T23:14:00.000-05:00

Angelman over at Angel Poems by an Archangel has sent me an angel poem that I requested from his site. It is beautifully written and when I read it tears came to my eyes. It really says a lot about me, I think. Be sure to check out the link above to read more of his poems!

Here is the angel poem:

There’s a sun always shining in this heart of mine.
It makes the roses bloom; it makes the sky clear.

No-one knows the trouble I’ve seen
nor the heartbreak
I’ve felt

in all the world.

I AM
Trans - muter.

Dreams from November 18, 2005

2005-11-18T22:50:00.000-05:00

Dream 1:

I am a maid in a mansion (in England?) sometime during the 1800s. I am in a room when a ghost appears. It is flying overhead. This ghost has appeared before. I've finally had enough and am so scared out of my wits that I run out of the mansion, leaving my position for good. I have nowhere to go. I'm out on the streets. A man in a coat wraps his arms around me and tells me, "I'll take care of you."

Dream 2:

I hear a *pop* noise and see that a tiny little egg has just popped open. A tiny squirrel, not more than two inches high, emerges from the egg. I try to catch it by using a container. I get it cornered and finally it is in the container. I know that it won't survive on its own and I mean to take care of it. I try to feed it an apple. I bite a little piece out of the apple with the intentions of giving the piece to the squirrel. I accidently drop it on its head. It passes out. I worry that it is dead. Soon it wakes back up. I get a handful of leaves and place it in the container for the squirrel to have some bedding. Soon I realize that along with the leaves, a tiny turtle was put in the container unknowingly by me. I think to myself that I'll also take care of the turtle. I also think that the tiny squirrel and turtle will make great foster siblings. They will like growing-up together.

Dream 3:

I'm out in the ocean swimming. The waves are pushing me all over the place. I can hardly keep myself above water. I'm trying hard to get on a small boat that is also being tossed around madly by the waves. The water is so clear that I can see schools of fish and coral reef down below.
-------

At this time I am only able to offer a possible interpretation of the third dream. A little over a month ago I went snorkeling in the ocean while in Mexico. I had snorkelled too far out. The waves were strong and it took all my energy to swim through them. I decided I had swam too far out and that it was time to snorkel back to the beach. I had so far to go. I started losing all my energy. I had to stop and float quite a few times. Eventually I thought I would drown. I started to panic and cry just a little bit. Luckily I made it back.

Synchronicity Journal November 18, 2005

2005-11-18T13:27:00.000-05:00

Last night I had planned on telling John to watch the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". Since the movie was on my mind, I put the soundtrack in my CD player to listen to. I didn't mention this to John.

Today, when I checked my email, there was a message from him with a link to a movie that he wanted me to see. When I clicked on the link, it took me to "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind".

This is not a new release. In fact, it came out in 2004.

Synchronicity Journal November 17, 2005

2005-11-17T14:52:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was discussing a song with someone. The main line to the song goes, "Don't let it get you down; it's only castles burning. Find someone who's turning, and you will come around." Ever since that discussion I've had that song in my head. It's been playing over-and-over in my mind. A few moments ago I visited NondualReality's blog and saw that he made a post about castles. Also, I just now visited Beard's blog and saw that he just made two posts about a hiking trip to a place called "Castle Peaks".

Synchronicity never fails to surprise me.

Dreams from November 16, 2005

2005-11-16T13:15:00.000-05:00

Dream 1:

I'm sitting down on something that is moving. Maybe it is a cart or a carriage of some sort. My legs are crossed and they are showing outside the outfit I'm wearing. Some Muslim men see my legs, point to them and tell me to cover them.

Dream 2:

I'm a Jew. Some men throw stones at me. I keep calling them "shticks". (I have no idea what this word means.)

Dream 3:

I'm looking through the CD racks at a library. I'm looking at CDs that feature brainwave entrainment to help one have dreams.

I Found It!

2005-11-14T14:51:00.000-05:00

OK, I know you guys remember me talking about Mystery Man #2. Well, strangely this guy is VERY similar to Mystery Man #1 only they have different names and different writing patterns, so they're clearly not the same guy, but they must both believe in the same thing. Mystery Man #2 taught me a little bit more than Mystery Man #1 because he was more revealing than #1. Anyway, I found a webpage which explains what the Mystery Man #2 was talking about! It makes sense to me, but it mentions that "all children up to the age of 28 will be educated [in this New Age]", and I'm almost 28 and haven't learned any of the techniques on building the bridge. I wonder if I'll be too old after my birthday in June? I almost feel in a hurry to find someone who knows more about this so they can explain it to me without running and hiding in a rabbit hole.

Here's the webpage:
Antahkarana

Dreams from November 12, 2005

2005-11-12T22:04:00.000-05:00

I think Pollux/Castor might be feeling a bit sad that I've not posted dreams for a while. Well, I had some vivid ones this day that I remember as though they had really happened, I even remember the sense of touch.

Dream 1:

I'm at a wedding reception, sitting at a round table. Seated at the table with me is an older gentleman I had not seen in a while, perhaps in his early or late sixties. I look at him and then I begin to feel sad. It's because at one time I had been in a relationship with him, but now I am engaged to a younger man. I show him my engagement ring, which strangely is a diamond in the shape of a triangle, and just as strange it is on my right ring finger instead of my left. He looks disappointed, a bit sad even, but he says he is happy for me. We continue to watch the reception go on. While he is watching, I look at him, and I start to feel feelings for him again, and I wish I had not been engaged.

Dream 2:

My first memory of this dream is from a third-person point of view. I am looking at myself. I am a young girl, perhaps 15 or 16. I am in a man-made cage on the ground. There is no bottom to the cage, just gravel, and that is what I lay on. I'm wearing a type of scarf that lays over the top of my head and falls down to conceal part of my face; I see only my eyes. I'm laying prone on the ground on my stomach, partially pushed-up by my arms. I'm looking out of the cage. There is a man there, outside the cage. He makes a business out of me. He charges other men a dollar to come and place locks on my cage. He lets them believe that they're the ones who get to lock me up for the first time. One man - who's younger than the rest, perhaps in his late twenties or early thirties - accidently gets stuck in the cage with me. This is where I began to dream with a first-person point-of-view. I start to claw at the gravel as though I'm a caged beast. I remember really feeling the gravel on my hands. I make a growling sound, as though I'm about to attack the young man. I act like a wild animal.

The dream scene jumps to me outside with the man and a woman. I think she is his wife. The landscape is very watery, as though we're right outside the ocean. There is a building behind me. The woman is trying to push a lever on a pipe in order to get something to drink, but there must be a clog in the drain. I am conjuring up a way to escape, so I tell the woman, "Oh, there's a seagull's nest clogging the pipe. I'll go down and get it out for you." I figure that if I can get down below that I can run away. There must have been a flood recently, because there are giant turtles everywhere, especially on top of the building. I point to the turtles on top of the building in order to show everyone. They gasp at how huge the turtles are. They are bigger than King Kong! There is a turtle nearby. I walk up to it in order to pet its snout, but it hisses at me. I get scared and jump back. I say to the man - who you must remember is my captor - "Daa...". I almost said "Daddy".

Dream 3:

I think this dream might have been an out-of-body experience. It's not a dream with a story to tell; it's just a feeling. I'm floating, and I remember telling myself to start to fall. I feel the sensation of falling backwards, but I tell myself I'll be safe because there is a bed underneath my real body.

Dream 4:

I'm the passenger in an old airplane. The pilot is flying through rooms and doorways. He causes us to fly upside down a few times. I remember this feeling of being upside down and feeling as though he would crash, but I just held on to him and said to myself that I can trust him.

Expectations

2005-11-10T12:54:00.000-05:00

I thought I'd share with everyone the expectations I've had about enlightenment. These expectations led to what I'd like to call "spiritual frustration".

I imagined (and still do imagine) that all kinds of wonderful things will happen to me once I become enlightened. Some might seem silly, but I believe these expectations might get in my way of actually ever becoming enlightened.

I will list some of them here for you. While I am able to consciously be aware of them and actually list them on paper, I still seem to think something different is going to happen to me, though I don't know what it is. I expect somehow I'll feel differently.

I imagined that, while meditating, I'd see colorful swirling mists or lights, and hear heavenly sounds.

I thought, while meditating, that a divine hand would reach down and pull me out of my body in order to have an astral projection.

I had hoped I'd meet this wise teacher or guru, who would take me under his/her wing and lead me directly to enlightenment. I pictured in my mind someone magically touching my forehead and saying, "You are now enlightened.... yada yada yada.... You are now one of us."

I even thought I'd meet my wise teacher in dreamland. If he didn't exist in the physical realm, as so many have tried to tell me, then surely he must exist in the astral. I imagined my guide would speak to me and teach me things, passing his wisdom down to me.

Were these just the silly imaginings of a twenty-something girl? Was I over-romanticizing the idea of enlightenment?

Will I feel any different?

I know I need to get rid of my expectations if I plan on getting further down the path, but these expectations seem to stick to me like chewing gum.

Mr. Ego Just Made a Terrible Mistake!

2005-11-09T13:55:00.000-05:00

Thanks to my friend Charlie for helping me realize something!

As you've read in an earlier post, I stated that "[The ego] must be killed off."

Only, Mr. Ego fooled me again, because, "Ego cannot be 'killed off' ... there is no ego, no separate entity."

Awareness

2005-11-08T21:29:00.000-05:00

I am not my thoughts or experiences. I am the observer. I am Awareness.

Enlightenment

2005-11-08T13:05:00.000-05:00

Today, while reading something, I had a thought. It was a thought that might sound quite shocking. Do I really want to be enlightened? After all, enlightenment might be like dying. Actually, it is dying. It's the death of the ego. Do I really want to die?

But then I realized my ego is fighting this process. It doesn't want to lose. It wants to survive. However, it must be killed off.
----------
There's a new blog: http://theenlightenedcross.blogspot.com/

Love

2005-11-07T21:48:00.000-05:00

My new friend Bill quotes Krishnamurti on his blog, and this line in particular struck my fancy:

"What brings order in the world is to love and let love do what it will."

Help!

2005-11-07T21:16:00.000-05:00

Ok, some of you that know me from my other blog remember me complaining about a "mentor" who magically appeared in my life and shed a little light on "spiritual things". Well, it's happened again. Another new voice - mysterious almost like the last one - has given me yet another hint. This time, this new guy mentioned something called a "Light-man". Has anyone ever heard of the Light-man? This guy wrote a few emails over the course of a few weeks, answered a few of my questions, and then vanished just like the previous guy. What is it with me drawing these guys who come and go, leaving little spiritual hints? They disappear as soon as they appear! It's frustrating, to say the least, because I want answers! If anyone has a clue on any of these words, let me know: Light-man, desire body, triad, three higher bodies....

And if that's not enough frustration, this guy gave me a puzzle to solve, and we had exchanged a few emails in which I was almost getting the answer right, and now he won't tell me if I was right or wrong! For those of you that know me, I have to solve puzzles. And if I don't get the answer right after numerous tries, I'd at least like to know the answer or I go crazy! :-o

THANKS.

Synchronicity Journal November 5, 2005 [part 2]

2005-11-05T21:54:00.000-05:00

As you recall, yesterday I made a post about elephants in my synchronicity journal. They've showed-up again. Today I was watching The National Geographic Channel, and a documentary was on about Hannibal and Rome. In the segment they briefly spoke of the elephants that were in Hannibal's army. Right after the documentary was over, another documetary came on. It was about elephants.

Dreams from November 5, 2005

2005-11-05T21:46:00.000-05:00

Dream 1:

I'm on a school bus. I'm in a bathing suit and my hair is pulled back. I'm supposed to take a shower on the bus. I'm getting ready to take a shower when I realize I have forgotten my towel. As if that is not enough, I realize that I'm actually in college and shouldn't have taken a bus that goes to high school.

Dream 2:

I'm swimming in some water that isn't exactly very clean. I get a mix of seaweed and algae in my mouth. No matter how many times I try to spit out the green stuff, it keeps showing up in my mouth.

Dream 3:

Like Tarzan, I am swinging about on vines. Beneath me is a swamp. I'm swinging straight-ahead and realize I'm headed straight for some alligators that are laying there. I try to maneuver myself so as not to end up in their mouths! There is also a bear that is sitting by the edge of the water. I try to avoid him, too.

Dream 4:

I'm floating in some water on an inner tube. I'm reading a magazine.

Dream 5:

I'm sitting at a round table outside with two other men. One man is tearing pages from a book and lighting them in order to burn the pages. There is a book on the table that is so big it has to be over one-million pages long. I grab the book and claim it so that he won't burn it. The man sitting across from me looks pleased that I have decided to rescue the book from a fiery fate.

Synchronicity Journal November 5, 2005

2005-11-05T02:01:00.000-05:00

I was online reading an article on Discovery Channel News about evidence that has been found that elephants mourn their dead. As I was reading the article, I got an email from Blogger stating that I had received a comment on my blog. The comment came from a new visitor to my blog named Nobody. I went to Nobody's blog and on the page was a post about elephants which included a painting of an elephant.

Nap Dream from November 4, 2005

2005-11-04T16:17:00.000-05:00

My boss is over at my cubicle sitting by my desk. We are discussing a project that we're working on. On my desk is an open comic book.

Dreams from November 4, 2005

2005-11-04T10:34:00.000-05:00

Dream 1:

I'm walking through the front yard of a house. Through the front storm door I see an elderly woman sitting on the floor of her house looking out the door. She is sad and crying. I stop in front of the door and tell her that I can come in and talk to her if she'd like for me to.

Dream 2:

I live in a house where an apparition of a man has been killing people in various rooms. So far I haven't been killed, but I'm very scared that sooner or later he will show-up in the room I am in and kill me. After a while I begin to wonder if he likes me, and that is why he hasn't killed me. But still, I am very much afraid of him.

Dream 3:

I am at a next door neighbor's house. We're watching the news on t.v. On the t.v. I see my house and lots of people bringing cats and sticking them under my house. I am surprised to see my house on t.v. I run to my house in a panic and tell everyone that I can't afford to take care of all these cats. The strange thing is, on the television, which was live news coverage, it was sunny outside, but when I run outside it is raining.

Dreams with Impact

2005-11-03T15:36:00.000-05:00

This may be a very probing question. You don't have to answer it if you don't want to. Dreams can be personal sometimes. Trust me, I know.

I would like to ask you this:

Of all the dreams you remember, which dream has been the most memorable?

Dream from November 1, 2005

2005-11-03T14:52:00.000-05:00

[Note: In real life, I work with a girl named "Vannah". A couple of years ago a stray kitten showed-up at my house. At that point, I already had three cats and two dogs that I had adopted from the streets. I just couldn't fit another cat in the house, so I kept the kitten long enough to find it a home. When Vannah found out about it, she took the kitten in and has had it and loved it ever since.

Note 2: In real life, my father and stepmother own a Quaker parrot.]

Dream:

Vannah and I are getting ready to walk into an animal shelter. At the door, before entering, I turn to her and say, "Vannah, I don't think I can go in there. I don't think I can handle seeing all the homeless animals knowing that I won't be able to adopt anymore of them." But I turn towards the door again and try to walk in. Again I am unable to enter. This goes on for a few minutes when suddenly a black and white cat with a flea collar brushes up against my ankles. I reach down to pet it. We enter the animal shelter and inside I see my father holding up a cage with a parakeet inside it.

Dream from November 3, 2005

2005-11-03T14:37:00.000-05:00

I'm standing at the top of concrete stairs. They are big stairs, like in an arena. There are many people lined along the top with me. We each have a wine glass in our hands. All in synch, we walk down the stairs. At the bottom, we perform some sort of ritual with the wine glass. We touch the wineglass to various body parts, then break it on the ground. Everyone breaks theirs before I do, and when I do, I call out, "Everyone close your eyes! I'm getting ready to break some glass!"

Chuang Tzu's Dream

2005-11-01T23:28:00.000-05:00

This has been one of my favorite quotes:

"Once I dreamed I was a butterfly, and now I no longer know whether I am Chuang Tzu, who dreamed I was a butterfly, or whether I am a butterfly dreaming that I am Chuang Tzu."
~Chuang Tzu

Gifts

2005-11-01T23:11:00.000-05:00

What is the best gift - aside from family and friends - that you've been given? These don't necessarily have to be physical gifts; it's up to you.

Synchronicity Journal August 24, 2005

2005-10-31T15:04:00.000-05:00

I just posted some stream-of-consciousness on my blog, and some of the words I used were "child's play". As soon as I hit "publish post", I went to a random webpage and there was an ad at the top that said in red letters, "...child's play".

Dream from November 27, 2004

2005-10-31T07:16:00.000-05:00

The Vessel posted a really special dream about a hot-air balloon ride. While reading it, I was reminded that late last year I too had a dream about riding in a hot-air balloon. Here is my dream:

I'm riding in a hot air balloon with a man and his wife. They're in
their 50s or 60s. The basket of the balloon is not the usual basket,
but more like something from an amusement park ride, with a bar across
the front, and open space by the legs so it didn't feel entirely secure.
Below, far below, I saw cars and houses, roads, highways, trees, and
more.

Each time the balloon turned I felt as if I was going to fall out. I
held on tight to the bar and got as close to the wall of the basket as
possible. The woman said she had to go out of the basket to fix
something below. When she got out, I was surprised at how much ease she did her work with, all the while I feel like I'm about to fall out.

When I can't stand watching her anymore, I grab one of her hands and
hold on. In fact, to feel I won't lose my grip, I then use both hands
to hold onto hers. (Remember, to her it was no big deal to be outside
the basket. I was the only one worried.)

Next scene: We're all three back in the basket, standing and looking at
the world below. The man is between me and his wife. He puts his hand on my back and starts stroking me. To put this in gentle terms, I felt aroused. I begin breathing heavily.

It is time to get ready to land, and we get closer to the ground, so
close we ride under an exit sign on the highway.

Happiness

2005-10-28T09:42:00.000-04:00

What makes you happy?

The Alien Song (for Those Who Listen)

2005-10-27T12:12:00.000-04:00

NonDualReality made a post on his blog yesterday about aliens. He provided a hypothetical scenario in which aliens could give us a limitless supply of energy. The key word is "could". The question he asks is, "Would they?" They can see just what we've done to the planet and to each other.

This particular post reminded me of one of my favorite songs from high school. It's called, "The Alien Song", by Milla Jevovich.

Here are the lyrics:

I see a shining...
A sweeping from the clouds
A glimmer of hope
Is coming to feel our light
Oh look it's flashing
This life among the stars
Reaching out to know us
To feel our might
Oh...this restless hope in you
Please...try and help us
Stand on our own
As we stopped on this pavement
And saw your dying mind
Paper, for which you're killing brothers life
Help you, we cannot trust you
We cannot understand
Your people's proud destruction
Of their own land
Oh...we're flying on from you
We...will not stay to see your fate
Watch them fly away
Watch them fly away
See the lines across the sky
Watch them fly...away

Haiku for October 26, 2005

2005-10-26T22:27:00.000-04:00

The whispering wind,
The leaves soaring to the ground-
Orange, red, yellow, brown.

Also be sure to check out Beard's Autumn haiku: Thought

Why?

2005-10-25T18:35:00.000-04:00

Why do you do it?

Floatation Tanks?

2005-10-25T12:35:00.000-04:00

Has anyone been in a floatation tank? (Otherwise known as Samadhi Tanks, Sensory Deprivation Tanks, Float Tanks, etc.)

Supposedly, the machine helps take away all forms of senses - sight, smell, sound, touch - enough to leave nothing but the mind to do as it will. I've read of some people having strong lucid dreams using one of these tanks. Also, they can be used for deep meditation.

I'm interested in using one, but there are no spas in my area that has one for me to rent some time in. The only other option is buying one, and that is a crazy idea at this point until I've heard that it's a must-have.

Does anyone have anything to say about these tanks?

A Goodnight Post

2005-10-24T22:10:00.000-04:00

I'm getting ready to go to bed, so I thought I'd post something to give you all something to think about. The question is simple. What about the answer?

Here is my question for you:

What do you value the most?

Dream from September 2, 2005

2005-10-24T21:17:00.000-04:00

[Note: These scenes may not be in order, but I believe they're from the same dream.]

I'm at some kind of freak show, I think. There are certainly "all types" around.

I'm carrying a big bone of meat around with me. I want to give it to "Wolfman". I ask around for Wolfman, and tell some of the crew that I have some meat to give him, and they say, "Why don't you just give it to him?" and they point to a lion. I ask, "Will it bite me?" They respond, "No." So I give the meat to the lion.

In another part of the dream, there is an extremely tall woman - a giant - about to come indoors to the building I'm in. I hold the door open for her, saying, "For the lady." She thanks me and bends down to walk through the door.

In yet another part of the dream I'm carrying around a bone of meat. For some reason I'm holding it in front of my face, trying to rip it away because that little thing that hangs down in the back of my mouth - the uvula - has somehow attached itself to the meat and won't let go, almost as if it's come alive. I feel as if I'm choking, and I can't rip the meat away from the uvula.

Fear

2005-10-23T00:26:00.000-04:00

Having not been very inspired lately, I've been going through what most writers would call "Writers' Block". Basically, I just don't know what to write on my blog, so you might have noticed some days when I simply say nothing at all. Well, tonight I've paid a visit to Paul Lambert's blog, and I've found something on his blog that I want to write about: Fear.

While I do not have a debilitating fear of snakes, bugs, heights, tunnels, etc., I do have some fears that are related to my future; fears that I've had for quite some time. These may be seen as minor insecurities to some, but to me, they seem to make the difference between life and death.

What are my fears? I fear that someday I might not have a roof over my head. I'm afraid someday something might happen to me and I won't be able to work. I'm afraid, after working for more than three years at the same place, that I won't be made a permanent employee. (I'm on a contract right now.) I'm afraid if I don't get made permanent that I'll have to go through another interview. It all boils down to that interview. I'm terrified of interviews. I know if I lose my job I could get another job somewhere else, but it's that interview that I have to have that scares me. I'm also afraid of change. I like the way things are now. I like where I sit at work. I've been offered a chance to move, but I wanted to stay right where I was. I think I'm afaid of change because if I do decide to change something, I might not like it and therefore won't be able to go back to the way things were beforehand. Most change is enforced upon me, and therefore I don't have much choice.

Recently I was offered a big change at work. I took it. For eight months I was a terribly unhappy person. I regretted making the decision. Lucky for me, this time I was blessed with the option of making things the way they were beforehand. But I might not be that lucky again. Because of that eight-month time period, I find change petrifying.

I think all this fear is yet another obstacle on my course to enlightenment.

I wish I could say I had a moral to this story, but I don't. What I'd like to ask you is this: What are you most afraid of? How do you face your fears?

Dreams from October 21, 2005

2005-10-21T10:26:00.000-04:00

Dream 1:

I have a new kitten [similar to the one in the photograph]. His name is "Jack". My bed is outside. I'm on the bed. I see Jack playing around a big patch of grass. I call to him, "Here kitty kitty kitty kitty!" He comes up to me and jumps up on the bed. I pet him. Suddenly I realize that his name shouldn't be "Jack". All of my other cats' and dogs' names begin with a "P", so I should keep it consistent and name the kitten differently, with a name that begins with "P". I think through different names like, "Paps", "Pips", etc.

[Note: I don't really have a new kitten in real life. I already have three cats and two dogs; that's more than enough! And all their names truly do begin with a "P".]

Dream 2:

I'm a passenger in a car that my sister is driving. She's in her lane when she comes up to a red truck that is facing our way in our lane. It's just sitting there. I start to get angry that the driver thinks it can just use our lane to block traffic. I start yelling and gesturing for him to get out of our lane and into the correct lane - the lane where traffic is stopped. Finally he starts to move to the other lane. I get out of the car and run up to his open window. I yell at him, "Don't you ever do that to my little sister! If you do I'll give you the finger!"

[Note: I woke myself up by screaming those words at him. This is another one of those dreams where I surprise myself by being so angry. I am not myself in these dreams of anger. Although, I will admit that sometimes other drivers in real life can anger me.]

Dream 3:

I keep seeing myself with long hair full of waves and volume. In my dream I'm just sitting there looking back at myself.

[Note: This is probably one of the first third-person dreams I've had of myself. In real life I do have long hair but it isn't wavy, nor does it have a lot of volume. It's mostly straight and flat.]

Dream 4:

I hear the girl I work with saying to my boss, "Stacey really is fast."

[Note: I think this has to do with the project I just finished. It's the first time there's been a deadline that I've helped my boss to reach. I worked really hard to get it done, and I had it finished just in the nick of time.]

Synchronicity Journal October 17, 2005

2005-10-21T01:33:00.000-04:00

Amos Newton reminded me that there are people out there who are interested in reading about my synchronistic occurences. So this one's for him:

Monday, October 17, 2005

My computer at work was not functioning, so I had to use another computer that belonged to an ex-employee that moved away for another job. I was on Google searching for things related to amber and fossilized insects preserved in amber. Then it hit me, the girl that used to sit at this desk was named "Amber"!

The Eternal Essence of Love

2005-10-21T00:11:00.000-04:00

[This essay is by my friend, D.R. Bennett. I really liked what he had to say about Love so I asked him for his permission to post this.]

Throughout Western history there has always been this hope for a better life-- something more than what nature had already provided. The inventions and innovations that came forward to help us move into the future are the modern conveniences that we use today; the telephone, internet, cars, planes and medical equipment.

Yet, in all this advancement, there is still an underlying void that is never filled. It is the deep human need to feel love and acceptance. No matter how much we advance technologically, there will still be this need to feel and express what we call Love. This leads us to the question, What Is Love?

To me, Love is a never-ending stream of Consciousness. It does not judge or put guilt on someone. It accepts you for who and what you are. Love overlooks all human flaws, if any of them can even be considered as ‘flaws’.

Love is not egotistical or proud. Love is humble, patient and long-lasting.
It does not put itself before another, yet takes care of its own needs as well as the needs of others. Love teaches us to take care of ourselves.

Love goes beyond all of our human quirks and pet peeves. It sees through the lie of illusion, and notices the beautiful truth of existence. Love is like a garden that produces luscious fruit. There is plenty for the giving. ~

Love is the key to The Universe!

Go to http://www.freewebs.com/drbennett

My View on Homosexuality

2005-10-20T23:03:00.000-04:00

This post may come as a shock to most people. I usually avoid political subjects. Politics usually get people into arguments, and I'm the kind of person who truly dislikes arguments. I like harmony. Anyway, there may be some of you who disagree with my post, and I just want you to know that it's OK. Disagreements are different from arguments. Two people can sit and in a friendly manner debate upon a subject. Just as long as no verbal weapons are introduced, it's kosher.

I'll simply say this: Homosexuality seems as legit to me as heterosexuality. I have a philosophical reason for my opinion on this. Love is larger than flesh. We are all One and therefore are the same as each other. Man or woman, it does not matter. There are no genders in the world of the spiritual. There are no bodies to connect. The spirit is what connects.

So yes, I do support same-sex marriages. For those of you that agree with me, thanks. For those of you that do not, please don't judge me any differently.

Feel free to post your comments on this. If you do not feel like sharing your identity, you are allowed to remain anonymous while commenting on my blog.

To Change

2005-10-20T23:01:00.001-04:00

Where are you? You've disappeared. Traveling?

To Karl

2005-10-20T23:01:00.000-04:00

Where do you get your inspiration for your writings?

Dreams from October 19, 2005

2005-10-20T22:52:00.000-04:00

Dream 1:

I'm in a room with lots of people around my age that are lying on the floor smoking something. Someone gives me some. It's a plant. The plant is tubular with leaves growing out of the tube. The trick is to light the end of the tube and suck in the smoke through the other end of the tube. The leaves burn causing smoke to come through the tube. I get high.

[Note: I'm not a drug user in real life. I have tried marijuana a couple of times in my past, but I've never been a so-called "user". I've also smoked a legal plant known as "Salvia" while on a part of my spiritual journey.]

Dream 2:

I'm sitting in the passenger seat of an empty car in a driveway somewhere. Someone I've spoken to on the internet several times is outside the car but he doesn't notice me. I don't want him to because I feel that I don't look my best that particular day.

Nap Dream from October 20, 2005

2005-10-20T22:19:00.000-04:00

[Note: If the word "bra" offends you, you may want to skip this particular post. I try not to accept any responsibility for my dreams. They happen on their own accord.]

I work in a government institution. I'm feeling a bit sick and report to the room for sick people. A priest is the ward of the room. First I have to sign-on to a computer so the institution knows my whereabouts. The priest gives me an outfit I have to wear to be in the room. It's a one-piece soft suit made out of a flannel-like material that also covers the feet. As I'm signing-on to the computer, the priest puts his hand on my shoulder and starts rubbing my neck. It feels relaxing.

Somehow I leave the institution. I'm still wearing the outfit. I don't have a bra on and I feel very insecure and exposed. I'm afraid people will notice that I'm not wearing one.

I end-up in a bar or club of some sort. I am wearing sunglasses and have my hair pulled back and a hat on. I think I see Mel Gibson sitting at the bar with a hat and sunglasses on, too. I think this must be a bar where famous people sometimes show-up.

Using my arms, I fold them against my chest to keep people from noticing that I'm not wearing a bra. I start walking to another room of the bar, and some woman sitting at a table must think I'm a famous person because of the incognito way I'm all covered up, with hat and sunglasses. She gets up and quickly takes my picture. The flash goes off and I feel its warmth, the flash burning my eyes a bit causing me to close them for a while.

Suddenly I realize that I'm supposed to be at the institution and that I forgot to sign out of the computer program and go back to work. I feel afraid that I'll get in trouble and lose my job.

Dream from October 18, 2005

2005-10-18T10:20:00.000-04:00

[Note: I'm not sure I had this dream last night, but I just remembered it, so I either had it last night or in the past few days.]

There is a little boy with blonde hair sitting on the floor in front of a television. He is watching the cartoon series called "He-Man". I sit behind him and say to him, "I used to watch this cartoon when I was a kid."

[Note: I watched this cartoon all the time as a kid. I even had lots of He-Man toys.]

Nap Dream from October 17, 2005

2005-10-17T21:06:00.000-04:00

I'm wearing a black t-shirt with David Bowie as "Aladdin Sane" on the front of it. I'm on a small speed boat in the water, and David Bowie is on another boat. I keep pointing at my shirt and trying hard to get his attention.

[Note: I'm a David Bowie fan. I fell in love with him as a young girl when he was in the Jim Henson classic called "Labyrinth". I became a DB music fan about three years ago. I saw him in concert last year.]

The Soul

2005-10-17T16:21:00.000-04:00

"What the soul knows is often unknown to the man who has a soul. We are infinitely more than we think."

(Extract from one of Kahlil Gibran's letters dated 6th October 1915)

Haiku October 17, 2005

2005-10-17T14:18:00.000-04:00

Fresh babbling water
Frog jumps off the lily pad
Catching its breakfast

Devoid of Feelings?

2005-10-17T09:24:00.000-04:00

I watched a movie last night called "Equilibrium". In a way it was similar to Ray Bradbury's "Fahrenheit 451", in that books are one of the items that are banned from society.

In the movie, there has been a third world war. World leaders believe that man's emotions are to blame for the inhumanity to mankind, and fear that a fourth world war will destroy all of human life. Therefore, the new leaders set out to destroy emotions by banning books, art and music. The citizens must also take a mood-neutralizing drug known as "Prozium". Anyone caught with banned items or showing any emotion at all - through not taking the Prozium - is immediately incinerated. Christian Bale plays a character who is known as a Grammaton Cleric. The Grammaton is an elite team of members who help capture offenders and destroy banned items. Bale's mission in the film is to locate The Underground, a group of rebels.

Bale accidently drops and breaks one of his Prozium injections, and begins to feel emotions. He doesn't want to let go of these new feelings. This brings me to what I want to talk about.

In my search for spirituality, I have run across a belief that says thoughts can be a hindrence to enlightenment. I am assuming this goes with feelings as well. I think the point of these beliefs is to let go of any type of attachment so that one can experience Nirvana, or enlightenment. Thoughts and feelings lead to attachment. Attachment, therefore, keeps us from becoming enlightened. Or so they say. I am not sure I can cope with this.

How can I not let my heart soar to hear Beethoven? How can I keep from falling in love with a book? How can my heart not break to see a stray animal? How can I not look at and admire Botticelli's Primavera over and over again? I can't. I simply must feel these emotions. What would I be without emotion? Do thoughts not cause emotions, and do emotions not cause thoughts? You can tell me to get rid of thoughts, but then I might not feel.

Do you who have no thoughts also not have any emotions? How do you separate the two? How can you live without thoughts but still feel emotion? Or do you?

Please let me know what you think.

Coba Haiku

2005-10-16T22:35:00.000-04:00

Rain pouring from clouds
Pyramid high in the sky
On the Mayan road

Nap Dream from October 16, 2005

2005-10-16T17:31:00.000-04:00

I was somewhere looking at different chapsticks/lip moisturizers for air instrument players. I was looking specifically for something for flute players. I would look on the back labels of the packages to see if they could be used with the flute, but most of the ones I looked at were for other instruments, like the clarinet or the trumpet, etc..

[Note: I played the flute for six years when I was in elementary through high school. I also played the piano. I still have these instruments here at home but don't really play them that much. Also, as far as I am aware, I've never seen such a thing as a lip moisturizer made for instrument players.]

The State of My Dreams in Mexico Plus Some Dreams from Today, October 15, 2005

2005-10-15T19:58:00.000-04:00

I can't remember a single dream from Mexico. During my trip I tried to recall a dream, but I think I did this practice too late in the day. You see, I was too excited to practice dream recall. In the morning, upon awakening, I had other things in mind. I would be thinking about my events for the day and I'd be too excited to think about dreams.

I do have some dreams I remembered from today. I have pretty much slept all day. With the exception of getting up long enough this morning to rescue the dogs from the kennel, I slept from about 2:00 am this morning to 5:00pm this evening, for a total of about 13 hours. I still had a hard time waking up.

Dream 1:

There was a bench that David was about to sit down on. There was a long pole sticking up out of it. I warned him not to sit down, but it was too late. He impaled himself on the pole. He got up slowly with a horrible look on his face, making a terrible sound with his cries of pain.

Other misc. dreams:

I've had several dreams of one of my tour guides from Mexico. The guide's name is Mosiah from the Tulum ruins site. I don't remember the dreams, just that he has been the central character in them.

I'm Back!

2005-10-15T01:16:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone! I'm back from my adventure to the Yucatan. I had the time of my life. In fact, it was the best vacation I've ever had. There is so much I want to say about it right now that I doubt I'll get it all in one post, so I'll probably add more later.

My favorite part about the trip was the snorkeling. I saw lots of marine habitat in the ocean and in several cenotes. Cenotes are popular in the Yucatan region. The water in the ocean there is very warm and easy to walk right into, however, the water in the cenotes is very cold! I had to take my time and tip-toe gently into the water. The best part was when we went to a cave called "Dos Ojos" - Two Eyes - and snorkeled through hidden tunnels. Our personal guide had a 1200 watts light and we were able to see beautiful cave formations deep in the clear cool water. In the ocean and lagoons we went to, we saw colorful fish, unlike anything I've seen in the Louisville, KY area.

The Mexicans there were very friendly and surprisingly almost every one of them spoke some English. There were a few that didn't, and I had a chance to practice my Spanish with them. A few times I got a good laugh out of some of them as they could probably tell my Spanish wasn't perfect. In the end, we were still able to communicate.

We went to two different sites of ruins: the ruins in Tulum and the ruins in Coba. It was a beautiful sunny day when we went to Tulum, so I was able to get some great pictures. However, the day we went to Coba we didn't fare so well. It rained so hard it was practically a monsoon! The funny thing is, Coba means "waters stirred by the wind". As soon as we got to that site, it started pouring. It poured the whole time we were there. As we were walking out the gates of the park, the rain stopped.

I saw some things I'll never forget: a poor young Mexican girl reaching her hand out to our car asking for money, a Mexican worker on the side of the road cutting weeds with a machete, huts made out of palm tree leaves, rugged roads through the jungle... Everytime I went to a shopping village the vendors would run up to me and try very hard to get any money out of me that they could. I learned how to bargain with them. Of course they always wanted more money than things were worth, so I'd offer a lower price and they'd come back with something halfway between my price and theirs, and we'd continue until either I bought or walked away, and usually when I walked away they'd run back up to me and say, "OK, you can have at this price." To tell you the truth, it was kind of sad. I wish I could give them more money, for they are more poor than I am, but I am not rich either.

I know I said I would swim with the dolphins, and that that was one of the activities that I was most interested in pursuing. However, when I entered the park that I was going to swim with them in - "Xel-ha" - and saw how small of a water-pen they were kept in, my heart broke at their loss of freedom and I couldn't pay the $115 to support caging an animal in this way. I didn't really think about this before going down there, I guess it just took seeing it to spark the negative emotions.

Yes, I did give in to my desire for material things. I wanted to bring some items home with me from Mexico, so I bought a few souvenirs, all of which were handmade in Mexico. I did find my Mexican skeleton, handcrafted beautifully out of cedar wood. I also bought a Mexican opal charm laid in silver, and the most interesting of all my souvenirs - a sterling silver ring with an amber stone. Inside the amber is a perfectly preserved carpenter ant. I wonder how old it is. There also appears to be a tiny gnat. I spoke with the jeweler about his handicraft and he really seems to enjoy it. He had the most interested jewelry of all the shops I had been to. Sterling silver shops are found all over Mexico.

Another thing worth mentioning is that I really enjoyed learning about the Mayans. Maybe later I'll talk a little more about the ruins I went to and the various gods they worshipped. I will say that they were astronomy wizards and built their architecture according to the stars and directions.

Well, that's all for now. It is 1:15am my time and I am very tired from all the traveling. I will do my unpacking tomorrow. I just had to get on here and say hello to everyone and give you an intro to what happened while I was in Mexico.

Oh, and I definitely missed you guys! One of the first things I did upon my return home was to get on this computer and post this. :)